Disillusioned (Part I)

I breathed a huge sigh that night and turned off the lights, grateful to have the cool breeze caressing my cheek as I drifted off into my world of dreams. When people asked what my hobby was and I’d say it was dreaming, they looked at me all weird.

“Who does that, Corinthia? What kind of sicko are you anyway?”

“It’s because you’re slothful. Sloths have nothing to offer, so they prefer to dream.”

That last one were Mom’s words. I didn’t blame her for being so condescending. I’d never been the star child, and somehow, Mom thought that being laid-back and not as goal-oriented as my sister, Carina was a sin punishable by death. I mean, I wasn’t lazy. I just didn’t have it in me to constantly pursue some goal or the other.

But she didn’t get me. No one did. But it was okay. I had my dreams to keep me company. I wish I could tell them that I loved my dreams so much because I usually had at least four a night, and they were always like movies. So that even if I didn’t like how a particular dream was going, I’d see it through till the end cause they were like video clips where the most bizarre things happened, but in the most exciting way imaginable. But they didn’t want to hear that. I was Weird Corinthia after all.

So, I drifted into dream world on that fateful night, I had a smile on my face. The world I loved was on its way. But for the first time in forever, I forced myself to wake up from my dream. I couldn’t believe it. I always dreamt of happiness. Why then did I dream of....death?

I knew it was a mistake asking Mom about it at breakfast the next morning but I did anyway. That’s how disoriented I was.

“Mom, what does it mean when we see someone I know die in a dream, in such graphic details.”

“It means,” Mom said over Carina’s exaggerated chuckle, “That you need to tone down on those Horror films on Netflix.”

I facepalmed. “Mom you know I don’t even watch horror. I mean it, it was so vivid. I don’t know what to do. Should I tell h....”

“And let whoever it is think that you’re even more weird than they already perceive you to be?” I blanched. That one struck a nerve. Mom must have noticed the way I shrunk because she recoiled. “Look Corin, you’re not exactly on great terms with everyone with your little ‘dream obsession.’ There’s no need to scare whoever you saw with something that’s clearly a figment of your overactive imagination. Okay?”

I mean, she didn’t say it in the best of ways. But she had a point. So I nodded and finished my breakfast without another word. When I got to school, I avoided making eye contact with Robin. And I guess it was obvious because he was the only one who minded talking to me.

“Hey Corinthia, what’s the matter? It’s the end of school and you’ve been avoiding me the whole day.”

I looked him in his kind eyes and was almost tempted. But like a badly produced chick flick, Mom appeared in my mind’s eye.

He’s the only one that even bothers with you. Now you’re going to chase him away with your weirdness and end up alone. As always.

“It’s nothing, Rob. Just cramps.”

He chuckled. “That’s what you couldn’t tell me? It’s perfectly fine, C. I also get periods too.”

I made a face but laughed anyway. “Oh, you’re so gross. Get out of my face.” He laughed and ruffled my hair as we walked. I guess it was better to follow Mom’s advice after all.

“....We regret to inform you all that Robin Delaware had a domestic accident and passed away,” Principal Meyers said with a heavy expression on her face.

There were gasps of horror everywhere but for me, I couldn’t breathe. The walls had become narrower, the air thicker. It was like I was suffocating and melting in my skin all at once. It couldn’t be true. Someone had to tell me that it wasn’t true. Not Robin. God, please let this be a mistake. But I had to confirm. I had to somehow calm that part of me that was hoping it wasn’t what I was thinking. So shakily, I raised my hand.

“Yes, Miss Callahan?”

“What kind of...”

“Speak up, Miss Callahan, I can barely hear you.”

“What kind of domestic accident was it?”

She quirked a brow. “This is vital information to you because?”

“Please, Ma’am. How did he die?”

She gave me an exasperated look. “He slipped on grease, and fell down the stairs.”

I slumped then. It was exactly how I pictured it in my dream. Oh my God, I killed my best friend. I killed Robin. I closed my mouth and now my friend had to pay the price for my selfishness. I felt myself slipping into a dead faint.

“Miss Callahan?” Principal Meyers called.

I deserved to die. “I killed him.” The gasps were loud. But I couldn’t bring myself to care. They had to know.

“What was that now, Corinthia?”

“I killed Robin. I’m the reason he’s dead.” The dark spots behind my eyes took over then and as the world slid into darkness over the shouts from everyone around me, I prayed what I hoped was my final prayer to God, that I never wake up again.

Jhymi🖤

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