Hi all. My posts seem to be in the moment words to me but if you can gain some knowledge from my life to better yours I'm all for it.
So my daughter is 13. Her father and I did not get along very well and was almost toxic for each other. Thankfully we realized that sooner rather than later. We broke up for good when my daughter was 2. We decided she would live with me full time because he was younger than I and not capable of being what she needed. Anytime he wanted to see her and was unable to get to us because of his schedule( has always worked 2 jobs) I would bring her to him and just wait in the car so they could bond. Or if his schedule allowed he would do the same with coming to us. We lived an hour apart. I knew he was always ready but when he started believing in himself that he was ready overnight visits started. Living so far apart was never easy. But we were both committed to her as parents even if we wasn't to each other. We made it work. It's still hard sometimes but we still do it because our daughter needs BOTH her parents equally.
Her father and his current relationship ended about 10weeks ago. And at the time it ended their daughter was about a month old. My daughter's father has been denied seeing her since the day his ex moved out. He changed both job schedules so he could always be available to his daughter and the mother is being very immacure. She is using their daughter as a pawn in this big game she is playing. I've known him for about 20years. There is no reason to deny her to him. He is reliable and trustworthy. And always ALWAYS has tried to do right by his children. So now they are in court. And in family court the first step is mediation. She will not bend. We have hired a lawyer. I say we because he is my daughter's father. We may not be together but will always be family. Family court is slow. Very very slow. So we just filed for temporary orders so he can see her. Many tears and denials and money later we finally have a court date. In September. He already hasn't been able to see his new born daughter for 2 months and it will be at least another. My daughter hasn't seen her sister and his parents their grandchild. She has shut off the entire family.
It is absolutely disgusting how family law works. And even more gross how she is acting. Why as mother's do alot of females think it's ok to keep their children from their fathers? Why don't you think they need their dads as much as their moms? And why the hell hasn't the system changed yet? Why is it still stunk in the stone ages. Some of these dad's make a better, safer, parent than the mom. But the mothers are given so much more stock in court just for being mom. It's so unfair on so many levels. We should have all evolved much more as parents by now. And fathers should be given the same regard and respect as the mothers.
I wrote him a letter for court. I would like to share it with you. If you as a mother can't picture yourself defending your child's father in this way then either you shouldn't be having kids with him if he isn't trustworthy OR if your the issue YOU SHOULDNT BE HAVING CHILDREN. Your not more special because your the mom. If you think I'm wrong please please say why. But I'm not so you should just be quiet so you don't embarrass yourself. Leave me your comments anyway, I want the comments lol
Here is the letter I wrote to the courts. I cropped out my address and phone number and his as well,
To Whom it may concern;
I am writing this letter on behalf of Jeffrey. Jeffrey and I have a 13 year old daughter together. Her name is Brianna. Jeffrey has always been a vital and positive part of Brianna's life. When we first broke up we were very young and didn't agree on everything. So we went for a parenting plan and both took part in the Child Impact Program. We eventually decided we did not need the parenting plan and worked everything out on our own. Jeffrey takes Brianna as often as her schedule allows. My daughter has a pretty busy schedule. So she spends most weekends with him depending on her activities. They also meet for dinner quite often during the week depending on all of our schedules. Jeffrey helps financially for whatever I may need help with for Brianna. He has always been extremely reliable and trustworthy. I have no problems with Brianna spending as much time there as she likes. Living an hour away can be difficult her being gone every weekend and she has also been able to bring friends with her for weekends if she chooses to do so, to make up for not being home and able to make plans. In some ways Jeffrey is actually a more involved parent than I myself am. He is always taking her somewhere new. We are in complete agreement with rules as well. Such as behavior, respect, grades and internet safety.
When it comes to stress and discipline Jeff has more of a level head than I do. I tend to get emotional with some things that have come up with our daughter. So instead of me getting all mad and yelling which does absolutely no good for all involved I will step back and let Jeffrey handle it. He has never once laid a hand on our daughter and to my knowledge and from speaking with Brianna he raised his voice just one time. This was two weeks ago where Brianna made a very poor choice and I asked her if she could remember any other times that he raised his voice and she can not.
When Brianna was a baby we were both young parents. I was 20 and he was 19. We both had no clue what to do in some ways but we both learned together. He took part in everything. From feedings to diapers and baths. Anything. At the time I had many health issues and was sick quite often. Jeffrey had to do more than me at times because I was too sick to function.
Jeffrey has a great family that are also very helpful and an important part of mine and Brianna's lives. I can honestly say when it comes to Jeffrey as a father I have very little complaints. He has worked two jobs for a very long time. He is relied upon at work as well. If I had to pick something that bugged me it would be work. But that is far from a bad thing.
I hope this letter gives you some insight into Jeffreys life with his daughter past and present. And also gives you an idea of how hard Jeffrey has worked to not only better himself for his own life but continues to work on himself to give Brianna the best life possible. I know without a doubt he will be an even better father with Merideth with how much more he knows now than either of us knew back in 2004 when our daughter was born.
Please feel free to contact me by phone, letter or email for anymore questions or concerns. I also have no issues with the courts speaking with our daughter Brianna if it's decided to be beneficial.
Thank You for your time in reading this.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Laroche
