It's difficult to let go, I find it so hard but as time passes by I realize there is no need of holding back so much inside. There are several things to hold back, anger, bitterness, heartbreak, grief, disappointment.
Like the world is underneath your feet. It keeps waying me down but ever since I realized how much negativity I have consumed, it began to affect my life. I see myself being so pessimistic and bitter and even react at slight provocation. My mentality began to affect my sense of judgement just because I held back a lot inside.
I easily get so angry that I try every means to let off my anger. It was so horrible then but after so much acknowledgment and back and forth to always work on myself. I can remember the last three years of each of my yearly checks.
I write down the values I want and the bad ones I want to let go and my anger issues always come first. If it is in my mentor's words, walk away when it gets too much. I'm not yet a finished project yet, still working on myself to make sure it gets to the average minimum but with what life throws at us each day, takes lots of simplicity and almost back and forth to get exactly what we want.
I acknowledge to be better, not for others but for myself too, for the people around, for my family, for my community and for my country too.
Their tips have helped me a lot to let go.
Always taking control of my emotions can be hard sometimes but I try to reason with my head more often. I take life the way life throws itself at me, find peace with it and always be happy. I could remember losing something so important to me, the expectations of others was to see me sad but it never happened. I appear to be alright during the day but at night I wet my pillow with tears.
Another form of me letting go is to cry as much as I can. It's magical, each time I feel better after crying as much as I could and you will never see me worrying about that particular thing again instead I thrive to do better. The golden rule I have learnt is, if it is so heavy, let it go. It is not bad to cry sometimes. It's therapeutic sometimes.
Forgiveness, not so easy as it sounds. I could remember someone close to me who hurt me so badly and wasn't even remorseful about it. She felt it was okay but her mother later apologized on her behalf. But each time I see her, I still remember what she did but that doesn't change the way I interact with her but this time I'm conscious and alert to anything I'm doing with her.
Being happy with myself, I realized that I get worried easily. If things aren't working as I expected, I feel so frustrated but instead of worrying and being frustrated I do the things I enjoy doing the most and each time I find myself happy and whenever I go back, it just works. Like the universe understood my situation at that time.
In conclusion, letting go can solve lots of emotional breakdowns and I am still in the journey to make myself better. I hope to still discover more about myself.
Thank you for reading!
