I will start with the bad once, sometime around April I was down with depression. I tried to be strong amidst my friends and colleagues but sometimes I couldn't. I still went to the restroom where nobody could see me to let down my tears. Tears have been my ritual before bedtime. I stumbled into my pillow and just let it out. For the first time in my life the thought of suicide crossed my mind. I have heard so many occasions on the news when most people take their life and I kept wondering why till it happened to me. I don't judge anymore, depression took the best part of me. I wouldn't say I'm strong but I managed to conquer that situation. The next month was my board exams. Instead of studying I found myself crying all the time. I have become the shadow of myself. Every inch of my body has lost weight, it wasn't bad that I was slim then adding to the situation I was turning to a bone. Nothing entices me anymore,no appetite to eat just to dwell in my mystery. It took me months to recover from that situation with the help of a friend who turned into my therapist. The only advice he could give "pray as never before" I communicated with God like he was just in front of me and after each day I was seeing progress. I learnt something from it though, not everyone cares about your problems.
There are so many blessings, I will scream and shout out that happened to me. Good and bad will surely come which adds it as the spice of life. What I least expected happened to me, I was still recovering from my depressed situation but then my board exams were around the corner. I tried to work myself out to overcome my situation. Thank goodness I wasn't an addict. Amist my tears, I still burned my midnight candle. I was studying for my exams. If I read a little bit I cried most of the remaining hours. I had promised myself I don't want to fail my board exams but that didn't help. I still studied amidst my situation. Most of my friends who saw me during the exam kept asking me why I lost so much weight but then there was no need to go back to the past, the past I fought so hard to survive. My exams came and went, then it was time for checking the results. I was anxious, I wasn't expecting anything. All I wanted was to pass but instead it was more. The attention I have been avoiding, I got it all to myself. I came out the best, I call it a blessing in disguise because I least expected it not to talk more about the situation surrounding it.
That was the best news for me in 2023. I got my academic pursuit to the highest now. I'm looking forward to my financial freedom, spiritual growth and social growth. Amist my health challenges I picked up a pen and paper. This new year I'm going to be intentional about my growth. It's a personal affirmation. I wrote down all my goals on paper and the good and bad values I will love to discard then I pasted the paper on the wall by my bed side. It's going to be a constant reminder for me.
I won't fail to appreciate friends in the form of angels 2023 blessed me with, I call myself lucky to surround myself with them. For always replying to my messages and not snubbing me, I say a thank you. For always assisting me with my hive journey and prompting me to be the best version of myself. I have high anticipation for 2024 and I'm so excited. Wish you all a fruitful 2024. Happy new year!
All images are all mine