Sometimes Monday mornings will start out with a crawl
Sometimes Monday mornings don’t get started up at all
Then they turn to Tuesdays which seems a whole lot better
But my dog will start to whimper so I reach down and pet her
I say, “Wait just one more day or maybe ‘til the weekend”
Sometimes she is just fine with that sometimes she starts leaking
“If you hold on until Friday I will promise you a treat”
But when I say that word she jumps right to her feet
My next pet will be sewn up and stuffed with cotton wadding
Or have a 50 gallon bladder and won’t have to go potty
My hero is Rumpelstiltskin he slept for twenty years
I think that I could do that after drinking twenty beers
But all those beers want to come out so early in the morning
Sometimes they will find the exit without giving any warning
One time I took a garden hose and taped it down below
Laid the hose out on the floor and out of the window
My neighbor on the first floor didn’t like it splashing on his face
Stinging in his eyeballs just like a can of mace
So now I take the calendar and cross the Mondays off
And took out all the Tuesdays ‘cause they just made me scoff
Wednesdays were no better the hump days hit the trash
Thursdays seemed so pointless I just burned them into ash
Now my week has three days Friday Saturday Sunday
I don’t know how you guys could have it any other way
