Hi Hive account@giftedwrites. Thank you for contributing your story to The Ink Well.

I thought I would share some feedback. I hope you're okay with it. To continue to develop as a writer, remember to always build a story arc into your short stories, even if they are very short like this one.

I'll explain a little bit of what I mean. In all good stories, the main character has an intent or desire of some kind. (In this case it is revenge.) To build a story arc, there must be an obstacle to achieving that desire. This helps us (the readers of the story) to care about the character and to feel hopeful that he or she will be able to overcome the obstacle. Without the obstacle to the desired outcome, there is no story arc, and the story will seem flat and uninteresting. The character may achieve the outcome, but it seems too easy.

This is always the case, and is especially true of a situation where the desired outcome is violence. If the character says "I want revenge" and promptly shoots and kills someone and that's the end, we don't have a story arc.

In this case, we need to know earlier on why she wants revenge, and to somehow become invested in this desire, and see that there is an obstacle of some kind to achieve it. For example, we could learn that the father was a really great and kind man. And then there would need to be something that prevents her from achieving her goal. Maybe her father's killer learns that she knows the truth and comes after her first, for example.

For more information, see the writing tips post, What Is a Story Arc.

I hope this helps.