This is great, @faithann. I felt the suspense building, and I knew something unexpected was going to happen. I just about jumped out of my chair when the little creature appeared in the kitchen! And I laughed out loud when it turned out to be the little girl! Well done.

I have a few small feedback items for you. I wasn't sure if the narrator was a man or a woman. He or she is referred to as "uncle," which is a man. But at some point the narrator says "Shake it off, girl." So then I thought it must be a woman. If it is a woman, you should change the instances of "uncle" to "aunt."

Also, I have a great resource for you — a post called Help for the Grammatically Challenged in our catalog of fiction writing tips. It describes how to use Google Docs to draft your content, and it will help you find errors in your wording and grammar and fix them. It's a great tool! I find that it really helps me to find typos before I post.