Hi @badfinger. Thanks for contributing this interesting story to The Ink Well Challenge.

I hope you are open to some feedback. At The Ink Well, we are trying to nurture writers and encourage improvement in skills. We are also looking for the best content to reward.

Your story has quite a few errors. My two suggestions are:

• Consider writing your stories first in Google docs. It will highlight the grammatical errors so you can fix them.
• Be sure to read your stories before submitting them. If you take the time to do that, you will easily see many of the problems.

For example, in the following two sentences, it is easy to see that there is a capitalization problem in the first sentence and a word missing in the second on.

The darkness which was inside him came out and started hAunting him. In that darkness, Alby could a lot her eyes.

I hope that helps you. Good luck with your writing.