Oh, how heartbreaking that your experience as a painter was so shortlived and so disappointing! Who knows, maybe it just wasn't the right time in your life, or it wasn't the right type of painting for your talents. I can actually really relate to this. I studied art, drawing, painting and graphic design for years, and it just always seemed like I was impersonating an artist instead of becoming one. Finally I shifted over to writing, and immediately I felt that I had found my medium for creative expression!