The different communities have to find a way to get along. Creating a market in between them is a great idea.

One thing that would make your story stronger, is if you included some action and dialog. You might like the article, Action, Dialog and Narrative: The Dynamic Trio in our catalog of fiction writing tips.

For example, you have this line:

King Jude was confused and sent some of his men to search for the delegates which they did.

This could be so much more dynamic! What if you wrote it like this?

King Jude stood surveying the troops, confused. What was going on? "You three — go search for the delegates!"

Then we can envision the scene. If all of the content is in narrative, it's kind of like a lecture of a story summary. The reader won't get involved.

Thank you for posting your story in The Ink Well, and for reading and commenting on the work of other writers in the community.