As I sat in the floorboard of the passenger side with my Mother in the seat and her Mother driving; I was pulling on my shirt sleeves that were so tight around my arms from the elastic. My mom was pregnant with my brother and was due any day. I was eventually told that my step father took my sister and I to Illinois to be with his mother and refused to bring us back to her. My mom ran me to the car, but not my sister. My sister was taken upstairs and my mom wasn't able to get her.. I can't remember how long it was before I saw my sister again.. I remember going to court with my mom and the awkwardness of her coming to visit us. In my opinion my sister was brainwashed. Her grandmother and father had her convinced that my mother did not give birth to her and therefore, she wanted nothing to do with us. We were just one year apart. My sister never lived with us.. Visits were so rare. one time we went a whole decade with no contact..
When I was old enough to understand what happened and have empathy for my own mother, I felt so sorry for my mom. I remember praying that one day my sister would hear both sides of the story. I wanted my mom's hurt to go away. I wanted my sister to have a relationship with each of us. I felt she was robbed of that.
Knowing my mother dealt with such a traumatic incident; I never thought she would want that for me...
Why would she allow/condone/help anyone to make sure I felt those horrible feelings and deal with the experiences she once dealt with?
I thought parents wanted better for their children..My goal in life was to be the best Mother possible. I have felt I have not succeeded in so much (wife,friend,relative), but being a MOM has been my number one strength. My kids are my life. Now my mother has had a hand in taking away such an important factor to my everyday life. She has contributed to people who want to hurt me. She has allowed/let history repeat itself. I would never want anyone to go through the pain my heart has felt for the past four months.
I know this is just a season and it will not last forever.
