Hello friends!
I've been thinking about writing this particular post for a while now but was unsure how to tackle it.
I'm just going to jump right in and share it as it comes to me.
I had one of those 'light bulb' thoughts the other night... you know those thoughts that seem to come out of no where and literally flash through your mind, usually in a picture?
The picture I saw was literally the picture of our house that was built in Belgium in 2005. Here it is :
I'm going to have to give you some background before I tell you the thoughts that came with this 'light bulb picture'.
I lived in Belgium from 1996 until 2011. I'm South African but went to Belgium to au-pair in 1995. In that year I met my husband and we were married in SA in September 1996. In October we went back and lived in Hoogstraten Belgium.
All 3 of my children were born in Belgium starting with my first child in 1998 and concluding with my 3rd and last child in 2004.
My husband and I acquired a beautiful piece of land through some extra-ordinary turn of events (that is another whole story).
We designed and built the house ourselves with the help of a few people.
It was pretty much our dream home and we put our heart and soul into it.
Here are some pics of the inside
As you perhaps can see there was a lot of work that was still needed to finish the house completely, here is also a picture of our attic that you can see still needs a lot of work
As you can see my children used it as a play room for their barbies!!
At this point you are probably wondering why I am showing you pictures of my house in Belgium, but the house is the flash bulb picture that I had and is central to my whole train of thought that surrounded it.
I had always wondered why we were never able to complete our house before we sold it and moved back to SA in 2011.
That was always an uanswered question and something I pondered on...
Until I had that photo of our house flash through my mind the other night and in that instance I understood the answer.
It was symbolic of another truth that would unfold in our lives 9 years later.
July 7, 2014 was the day that changed my life forever, my husband told me that he wanted out of our marriage.
As I stood at the doorway of my bedroom the other night, that picture of our house flashed through my mind and in that instant I saw the incomplete house as metaphor of an incomplete marriage.
Have you ever looked at photos and felt heartache?
When I pulled these photos up from my gallery I had an ache in my heart.
I pulled up photos of the our first christmas shared in that house with our children
It has been nearly 4 years ago since he left, and we have healed and we have moved on with our lives, me and my children.
Sometimes memories like a flashbulb pop up seemingly out of nowhere and we reflect on the past.
Maybe these thoughts pop up with more purpose than we realize, perhaps there is another layer of healing that has to be accomplished in our hearts.
These photos symbolise a whole life that I lived, 18 years to be exact! When I look at them now it feels so long ago and I can't wrap my head around how things can suddenly change.
But they can and do, for many people, everyday.
Even though I couldn't stop what happened in my life at that point, I had a choice to stay stuck in the past and allow anger and bitterness to take root or I could believe that God had a plan B.
I also dare believe that plan B will be better that plan A.
I believe that God gives us beauty for ashes, gladness instead of mourning and a double portion instead of our shame. (Isaiah 61)
I don't know what you are going through today but I hope this encourages you!
