You or More? I Am In A Platoon

26 February 2023

Image from Unsplash by Stijn Swinnen

That's my dad...

There was a reason why our family became large. My father wanted more girls after me, but he always got boys. So he'd make again and again until he met his satisfaction, the number of girls he wanted to put in the family frame.

(The last photo with my sisters before I went abroad)

And as a soldier who only occasionally, had the chance to see his family, once, twice, or thrice a year, you couldn't blame him if he misses our mother so much after enduring battles and duties in a faraway land. So when he gets home and everyone is asleep at night, he would tuck her into bed, lol. Then life will be conceived in my mother's womb over the following few weeks. As a result of those longings, nine boys and four girls were born which is enough to form a small platoon at home, and he is our commander.

(This is incomplete, just some of my brothers, my father on the right side. Photo taken last 2022 New Year's preparation)

I even led the platoon both at home and in school. Despite not being the eldest child, as the eldest daughter, I was given the responsibility of serving as our mother's right hand when our father was away. Why not my older brothers, but me? Because when they were young, spending time with their peers was more important to them than performing their household chores. So all the tasks were thrown upon me.

This week's Weekend Engagement Concept caught me up which is so relatable to life.

Just you or more: Would you rather...
You can choose to be an only child or have several brothers and sisters, which do you choose and why? Answer in a post of at least 300 words.

Growing up in a big family, there were a lot of difficulties, misunderstandings, disputes, and fights that took place inside our small abode. Imagine packing many rabbits into a small cage; the scene that would ensue would not be pleasant to witness. I recently read @dennnmarc's post about it and so I used it as an example. However, it was when we were young, of course. Although I didn't fight with them, I was usually the mediator and someone who reprimanded my younger siblings because our mother was too kind and gentle to spank them, lol.

My family wasn't well off, but we weren't under par either. Therefore, there were always shortcomings. There were times when I wanted to eat more, but I had to give my younger siblings more food. That's what an older sibling to the younger ones should be like anyway. Since we were all studying, there were times when we had to bend just to make ends meet until the next allowance.

Our needs can be met, but not all our wants. I have an auntie who was also married to a soldier but she only has three children. I used to envy them because they were somehow considered a well-off family in our place. My cousins were lucky enough to have parents who know well about family planning, lol. They can get their needs, as well as their wants. I used to compare our life situations and I wished to have a small family like theirs too. I thought my life would be better if my family was only small.

Furthermore, it should have been better to live in a big family if everyone is responsible. Although it is annoying to have a black sheep inside a sheepcote, it is unavoidable. There will always be one, two, or more. Some people say that having a large family makes it easier to complete household tasks in a single day. But hell no!

Since we are large family, there is a tendency for some members, especially boys, to avoid their responsibilities out of a sense of complacency that more people could take on the unfinished work. Some would argue over who would do this and that. In the end, tasks will go unfinished and a lot of time will have been lost.

You can't see and hear me getting mad or shouting outside, only at home when dealing with my irresponsible siblings and obstinate ones. Because boys, who make up the majority at home, were unwilling to do chores, it was difficult to create a schedule and distribute the tasks fairly. I usually take care of their unfinished business because they frequently flee and prefer to play with their peers.

For those who have never dealt with a large family, it might seem like a fun scene, but for me, who has dealt with many stresses and difficulties, I wished I had been a unica hija at the time. I wanted to live in a small family home where I could fulfill both my needs and my wants. Above all, I dislike chaos the most because I like silence.

In any case, we all have a tendency to prefer and wish for those things that are in opposition to what we already have. But would you choose to live alone or with a dozen people? I suppose you'll decide between those numbers or decide to remain alone.

That perception, however, was changed when I had the opportunity to live abroad with a small family, two children with the oldies. The youngest was left alone at home without a playmate or a chat partner when the oldest went off to study abroad. Because life has been so mundane to her, she tends to fangirl online, dabble in art from time to time, play music as therapy, and write songs to kill boredom. She occasionally has a sad expression on her face, though, as if she's missing something in her life or is longing for it. She would feel sad and lonely and would go by my side. That's how our friendship started. And by September, she'll fly to England to study. Thus, the parents will be left alone at home, making the house so mundane. The family would be incomplete by then.

The house, meanwhile, appears so boring, vacant, and lacking in something. There may be people inside, but they seem unhappy and the family spirit is never intact. It is an image that is too dissimilar from ours. Since everyone seems to be a digital person, from parents to kids, there isn't any genuine bonding taking place, not even over meals at the table. After work and school, they would often talk as a family because they spend so much time in front of screens.

Such so boring family I must say, and the same goes with my life here. I therefore frequently travel during the holidays to combat boredom, longing, and loneliness. Just to search for true joy, which has been long gone since I left home. Moreover, there is no celebration or other event during special occasions, not even on their birthdays. Unlike at home, we celebrate every small occasion with simplicity, completeness, and happiness.

I can imagine what my parents would be like if they didn't have many children. We would leave the house one by one and our home would be so empty, and their life would be so sad. At least, in our current family situation, there is always someone who would be left at home to look after them. The house won't be empty and sad.

During my lonely moments here abroad, I came to the conclusion that having a big family is much happier than growing up alone. And I realized that there is no place like home. We may be big and have many problems and shortcomings, but we never lack the sense of family that fills our humble abode. We may not have a luxurious lifestyle at home, but love and joy are in great abundance.

Our house may occasionally be chaotic, but it has never been dull or lack of joy. Sometimes arguments end in laughter. I even missed those funny fighting scenes sometimes. And the most important part is, our family's bond would get stronger after a few misunderstandings. Some may have left home and our individual journey had set us far away from one another, but the family bond never breaks and our home has never been empty.

And if there is one thing a large family could be an advantage at, we are like a platoon that would never leave one behind because we are strongly bonded. And in times of difficulty, someone would always pull his sleeves up to lend a helping hand.

So solo or many siblings? I'll choose the latter and you already know why.

Thanks for dropping by and happy weekend.

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