Some friends of mine spent four hours in separate cars in a traffic jam in a big city on their wedding anniversary. That made me remember how we spent our twelfth anniversary with my husband in the hospital having the cartilage removed from his knee. These anniversaries are funny to look back on, but not so funny at the time.
We are the fortunate ones who celebrate our marriage vows, my husband and myself are heading for our fiftieth anniversary in a couple of months time, and if I could choose I'd do it all over again.
I have another friend who has been married for fifty five years. That long ago getting a divorce was a serious thing. She realised that she had made a mistake very soon after the ceremony, he worked away from home three weeks at a time and came home the fourth week, so she was alone too often and building a relationship was difficult.
She learned to cook, had a good eye for interior decorating and she made her own birthday cards and they were works of art and prized as keepsakes
Soon the children came and then she had enough to do, but she did it on her own and he missed all of those important firsts in the children's lives.
He got a job nearer home so he could spend more time with the family, but she had her routine and habits and adjusting to having him home all the time was difficult.
I phoned her one year on her wedding anniversary to wish her, she said she had spent the day alone, had shed a few tears for the unhappy past.
So there they sit, they are now in a retirement home, they are polite to each other, but I have never seen them smile at each other.
What a waste of your life.
