I don't know what my initial libertarian thought was. As a home-schooled student, I was always aware of how poorly public schools served my peers. My brief incarceration in government schools reinforced the arbitrariness of authority. I was once into the principal's office and charged with using a racial slur because I contradicted a bully who was applying it to my friend. Apparently saying, "he's not a ------" was the worse infraction.
I don't really remember the Cold War era. I grew up in a conservative family, and my first real political memory was the 1992 Bill Clinton campaign. I don't exaggerate much when I say Slick Willy was almost the Antichrist, and Rush Limbaugh akin to a holy prophet. Now we can look back over the two decades since he left office, and wish government were as small and inoffensive as it was then.
Still, it took me a long time to fully shake my faith in the holy pole quilt, the sacred scrolls, and the saintly gangsters. I think I knew something was wrong for years, but I believed the system was somehow still incorruptible despite the abuses committed by the people running everything. Al Gore's loss to George W. Bush would surely bring salvation now that those dastardly Democrats were out of office, and the righteous Republicans should set things right!
[insert bitter laughter here]
I also followed a fair few dead ends as I sought the truth. Alex Jones once seemed to be onto something sometimes, despite seeming to be on something all the time. The Constitution Party promised to restore the sacred scrolls. The John Birchers offered an anti-authoritarian stance of sorts. But it all rang hollow eventually. Before W. had finished his two terms, I had learned that the Republican party was generally just as authoritarian and deceitful as their rivals.
I never fell for the Cult of Obama, thank goodness. I arrested the mental partisan flip-flop false hope.
It must have been around 2007 when I learned about Ron Paul. He was different from the other Republicans. He was anti-war and anti-corporation, but he was also pro-market and pro-liberty. His message was different. Like many others, I was finally in a position to understand. I started reading Austrian School economics. I learned why the economy was collapsing in 2008, and 2009 when I lost my job in architectural drafting, I knew how the Federal Reserve had been to blame for the boom/bust cycle. It made sense once I saw how inflation distorted the price system, reaulting in a bubble. But as I pursued this thought, I also encountered new problems with politics. Public choice theory and a modest understanding the psychological effects of illegitimate authority kicked down the last excuses I had for government monopolies as a solution to anything.
I was an anarchist.
But the self-appointed anarchist gatekeepers don't usually accept my views. To them, my brand of anarchism isn't authorized. Oddly enough, they say I would be up against the wall facing their firing squads alongside the Wall Street bankers when their revolution comes. Their central committees and democratic economic dictates are totally different from a government, they say, and dissent is not to be tolerated.
Thank goodness I don't put any more stock in them than I do Trump or Pelosi. They're welcome to try to persuade me, but when they resort to the methods of the State, I reject them, too.