Incorrigible Librarian Antics

Good news on the library front: statistics! Our circulation and program attendance are significantly above last year, partially due to people still emerging from COVID protocol, and partially due to the influx of refugees from California seeking somewhere slightly less oppressive. Most of them are eager to borrow books and participate in local culture, but some of these imports also seem to be the neo-puritans demanding authority to censor library collections.

Puritanism —The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.—H. L. Mencken

This self-righteous moralistic authoritarianism has been a problem since the days of Plymouth and Boston versus Merrymount, and it doesn't look like it will be ending any time soon, so please support your local librarians. While intensity varies from place to place, there is a growing push to slander and libel a lot of good people nationwide. Sticks and stones and whatnot, but accusing someone of grooming your children, well... Once upon a time in the Wild West, such accusations might've earned one an invitation to take the long dirt nap. They are fortunate we librarians tend to prefer words to weapons, have a lot of practice defusing tense situations, and favor some version of the Golden Rule or Non-Aggression Principle.

However, I'm pleased to report that local support from the folks who actually use libraries and participate in the community is pretty universal. As extortion-funded government monopolies go, libraries are among the least evil. I don't doubt there are exceptions, but our goal is to provide a variety of views on contentious topics, not force-feed "wokeness." Some of our biggest supporters are home-schoolers who rely on our ability to enrich their curricula. They cover the spectrum from crusty hippies to religious ultra-traditionalists, and while they tend to be cautious of what they borrow, they haven't complained of us trying to turn their kids gay.

I'm not entirely innocent, though. When these munchkins request guest passes for the computers because they forgot their library cards for the eleventh time this month, I demand exorbitant sums for these free slips of paper. "That'll be $928.34, please!" Or when they wait expectantly for their weekly checkout challenge trinkets, I'll tell them the real prize is the knowledge they gain from learning something new, and then pause a beat before reaching for the basket of goodies they can browse.