As I entered the shadowy room full of the smell of incense and low cries of regret, a medley of emotions overwhelmed me. Death had come softly on Lolo, my grandfather, and he left us stories of happiness, insight and acceptance in its place. Unlike most funerals, his wake doubled as a party commemorating lessons learned.
Lolo was at rest, flowers and flickering candles surrounded him. His face used to be full of warmth and life but now it was calm with death. They shared stories or mere memories as they stood there among themselves remembering him, they were not many but not that few either who attended his send-off; each story talked about how good he was, how strong he had been through hard times and the fact that he would never forsake those who belonged to him.
As I looked around during the gathering, it was surprising how many different people Lolo had affected. Everyone, from his friends when he was a younger person to those who worked with him during stressful business hours had something to say about the difference he has made in their lives. It reminded me of the fact that an individual could affect many people’s lives through his actions.
Feelings of togetherness and support were tangible at the wake Distant relatives flew in and the bereaved found solace in the arms of the comforters. The neighbors brought over casserole dishes, showing their condolences during our sorrow. A gentle nudge to remember that we can never be really alone in our loss.
In between the cries and giggles, there was thought. Naturally, Lolo made me realize how temporary life was and how we could only have precious moments to spend with the ones dearest to our heart. It sparked further discussions about family, legacy, and the lessons he had taught us. We missed him terribly, but he was still very present in our memories.
As the laps added up, they went from mourning to a celebration of life. The air filled with music and stories relented in laughter as we remembered the good times we had with Lolo. This was a bittersweet occasion where the pain of losing him was there but earlier the solace of him was recalled.
Mixed into the heartbreak was an element of thanks as well. Thank you for the time we had with Lolo, for the lessons he taught us, and for the love he gave so freely. And he would always live on in us among all our greater memories and days and things, a vital warm and loving legacy, secured in the pillars of our living carrying with them the sense of his values of strength and compassion and endurance.
The last prayers were said, the final candles extinguished, signifying an end. Though Lolo may have moved on from this earth, in spirit he will forever be there to lead and guide and watch over us from a place high up above. His wake was a finality and a new beginning — a lesson to be lived in memory of his spirit, and with close family and friends.
For the next few days we would say our last goodbyes to Lolo, keeping him to rest next to Lola, who passed before him. But his legacy would still shine bright, a guiding light in the on going journey, that life is a gift and we should be grateful for the people we cherish most. Goodbye, Lolo...we shall all see you soon.
