Hello guys I failed again on this year's Inktober challenge, I tried the best I could but I will try again next year until I accomplished or finished this challenge. This will be my last Art Blog post regarding this challenge. This is for Day 20 and 21 and the themes or words for those days are "FROST and CHAIN".
And this art post will be a personal one for me, honestly, I really don't want to end my year with drama but I think I really need to do this to clarify or explain my actions and decisions.
Story of The Art
I prepared combined words, thoughts, and quotes of a person who's tired of chasing and pleasing people to stay, tired of noticing and adjusting to people who are not consistent with their words and actions, tired of overthinking things and explaining things they will never understand how heavy it was, tired of people tolerating bad habit and practices or the bad doers. Then finally this person has to stand on his own because this time he knows his worth and will never be fine to be disrespected by other people just because he has debt in gratitude to people.
This person wants to be alone rather than be a burden to others, he wants to be alone rather than drain people and called him an energy vampire because he was in a state of pain and trauma. This person only wants to have peace and start over again without relying on people because most of the time he just gets disrespected by these people.
The artwork also represents these thoughts.
When nobody wakes you up in the morning and when nobody waits for you at night and when you can do whatever you want, what do you call it, Freedom or Loneliness?
Understand me, I'm not like an ordinary world I have my rage, anger, and madness I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no souls, when someone asks what I'm scared of I play it basic and say it's the dark, sometimes
I'll say heights, needles, or even sharks maybe I'll say spiders and snakes or flying above the ground, I'll say confined spaces or even pain or loud sounds but I hide my real fears and put it on a far shelf cause my biggest fear is that you'll see me that I'm almost never serious and I'm always too serious, too deep, too shallow, too sensitive, too cold-hearted, I'm like a collection of paradoxes.
I am paradoxical, I like to be happy but I think about sad things all the time I don't really like myself but I love the person I've become, I said I don't care but I care too much deep into my bones, I crave attention yet I reject everything that comes my way, I healed people but I broke my own heart trying to fix them, I love to listen but I never tell them what's inside me. I'm tired of being scared all the time not knowing why I'm a tired being, trying to change, and not knowing however much I do change, I'm left with me.
I usually become a ghost and silent to those who no longer deserve my time, I've never seen a point in explaining my absence to someone who failed to appreciate my presence, I don't owe any explanations to those who hurt me, I killed my future by mourning the past and nothing is louder than overthinking after midnight, I hate it the way the heart takes too long to figure out what the mind already knows I'll be good to myself from now on because I only have me, myself, and I,
I hate the moments between meeting people and leaving people, there is this brief feeling of trust before the paranoia seeps in, and once I begin to realize that they're just like everyone else I've met before, different person, same bullshit, I've been holding on to people who no longer deserves my grip, I've lost countless hours of sleep thinking about people who doesn't deserve to be in my mind and I know that I displayed these abilities to care so deeply, unconditionally
and genuinely even they destroyed me by bringing chaos and despair by doing disrespect, lies, gossip, and betrayal,
somehow I still and always look for the good in people, I'm still grateful for the good things they made and gave for me but
I will let the Father, the universe, and the karmas bring to them all what they deserve. I hope this coldness will ignite again in a greener place along with my authentic and genuine tribe.
Working Process
Final Work
Materials and Tools I Used
• SketchBook
• Mechanical Pen
• Gel Pen / Marker Pen
• Prisma Colored Pencils
• TouchFive Coloring Markers
• Adobe Photoshop CC 2015 edition.
Ending Message
I wish everyone to be blessed this coming 2024, I wish you all the success and peace you ever wanted. Happy New Year Everyone!
Thank you so much to the support and memories we have this 2023 even if it was one of my worst years we need to leave it and say goodbye to it and start a new one this coming new year and I will stay here to share my artworks and other stuff, I hope no more drama posting this 2024 XD. I love you all and Keep safe as always, Father Bless you all.
So yeah I think that's it for this year and see you on the next one.
STAY KIND, BE REAL, PEACE OUT!
I used this picture for you to know that I'm a real person and not a bot or a poser. Ishketch saying goodbye for the year 2023! Ciao!
