I have my opinion on a lot of related subjects and big on them once I see a clear pathway into them. One I have been loud about is the subject of long-distance relationships. There was a point where I had a short social media campaign about it, discouraging people from engaging in the adventure.
My reason was simple and justifiable. The dating scene is messy at the moment and this generation of young lovers seems not to know what a relationship entails. To keep a relationship, the proper way, structures have to be in place. one, you must be in constant communication including physical meetings. Physical meets come from the non-trusting display of the character of the generation. A constant meme circulating on the internet says a long-distance relationship involves 4 people. “as long as the 4 of you are happy, a long-distance relationship can survive”. The popularity of this meme suggests a deep problem in what has affected the dating and relationship lifestyle of this generation.
We, the young generation, have a low commitment ability and with the ease of choices, it becomes a difficult task for people to stay committed to someone, let alone one they don’t see often. I guess out of sight is out of mind for many. It is also very difficult to trust that the other person is keeping it real on the other end. So sometimes because of such uncertainty. A lot of people take steps in the wrong direction. It starts with harbouring someone to fill in the emotional gap distance has created, then it grows as a disruption to the other relationship. So while a close-knit relationship may offer intimacy and space for the creation of visual memories, we can’t rule out the pros of a long-distance relationship.
For a short-distance relationship, clarity is sometimes far-fetched among couples. This stems from the blasting of actions that borders on love which may be infatuation. This brings in intimacy, and romance leading to sex that could further dent the aspect of clarity. Sex needs a lot of intense emotions and feelings, that can serve as a driving force for the continuation of a relationship. While romance can’t be underestimated in the building of a mature relationship, it shouldn’t be the foundational pillar of any new relationship.
The design of a long-distance relationship begins with communication via digital channels; Calls, texts, periodical love letters, late-night’ chats, and communication in different ways to foster an understanding that bedrocks the relationship.It holds off physical intimacy but strengthens the same endozoic feeling in the mind of lovers through communication and imagination. This makes the relation safe and offers time for the perception to solidify.
For such an arrangement, there is always a blast of release when they meet up. While physical intimacy is very good for a relationship, this isn’t to bother the opinions of popular religious sects, it can be practised at a very wrong time which affects the relationship and leaves emotional injury to the couples. While humans are social beings, it sometimes takes long before we find our tribe, friends, and family, that are truly fit for us. Funny enough, it's still our own fault that we aren’t able to get the true one because we aren’t sure who we need. It takes time to develop such wisdom. We have to first take time to socialize with ourselves in isolation. This will give us an intricate depth into who we are, our strengths and our weaknesses.
Understanding ourselves first makes us less desperate when we look for mutual connection in others, especially for a relationship.So with this, we can take enough time to look into the other person without jeopardizing it with physical intimacy, which makes it possible in a long distance relationship. Long distance relationships offer the environment for people to connect on spirit level first, soul second before the body. It offers clarity before intimacy clouds the sense of judgment.
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