One of the most compelling human needs is our desire for acceptance. We are social beings by nature. Yet, in our quest for virtually everything we strive for, we often miss the vital aspect of cultivating the right relationships along the way to wherever it is we are going. We seek success, money, happiness, and love, yet when we arrive at these things we are often left with a sense of emptiness dissatisfaction.
Most people are pretty good at knowing what it takes to get to the next level of achievement. Far too few people know how to get there without the struggle and strife typically associated by a feeling of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment once they get there.
Wherever you are now—in your career, your relationships, your personal fitness goals, building a new business, or enhancing your spiritual life—the question most of us want to know is, how do we continue to become better than we are today? And how do we accomplish that with a genuine feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction once we have achieved our goal?
Despite your endeavors, there will be inevitable obstacles and setbacks along the way. So, what do you do when you have literally hit the proverbial wall of resistance where it seems to be impossible to go any further? You count on the relationships you have established.
I have a friend who recently opened a new restaurant in the heart of one of the most affluent areas of Northwest Florida. By all accounts, he is considered the epitome of success. As you walk into his new restaurant you are immediately taken aback by the magnificence of the décor, the warm and friendly greeting, and the aroma of fresh authentic Italian food. But he wasn’t always a successful restaurant owner. In fact, the odds were stacked against him from the very start. And if it weren’t for the relationships he established, his road to success would have been a lot more difficult.
There was a time when this young man couldn’t speak a word of English. As an immigrant from Romania, he saw America as the land of opportunity—a place where smart planning, sacrifice, and hard work pay dividends. So he rolled up his sleeves, tapped into the power of his dream, set his pride aside, and went to work. One of the first places he found employment was with a small franchise restaurant where he quickly learned the process, from a worker’s perspective, while he continued to learn the English language while building a new life in a new land. He worked several side jobs as he found favor with one of the owners of the franchise, and quickly found himself as a key holder and assistant manager.
As the franchise owner got to know him better, she discovered he rode a bicycle to work every day. Incidentally, this man showed up to work on time each and every day, regardless of the weather or personal circumstances…on a bicycle. When the owner asked him why he rode a bicycle, he simply smiled and explained how he was saving most everything he had made from his job at the restaurant to purchase his first car. But he had no credit and no way to secure a car loan, so he had to come up with enough money to pay cash for the car. Hearing this, the owner took it upon herself to offer to help the young man by co-signing a loan, helping him to overcome one of the first hurdles he would face in his quest to achieve his ultimate dream.
Now, a question most people would likely ask at this point is, “Why would anyone co-sign a loan for someone they hardly knew?” The answer is quite simple really. You see, this young man had clearly demonstrated that he had integrity. He had proven he was trustworthy. And he was loyal. The owner already knew he had an income to support a reasonable payment, and he had clearly demonstrated the discipline worthy of a typical loan applicant that any bank would easily approve, except he had no credit. So the question still remains. Why would she take on the risk of supporting him? The answer: Because they had established a relationship supported by the power of a personal connection of trust and mutual respect. The connection between the two still lives today and is one that defies reason, yet, when viewed from the broader perspective of time and reflection, no one can deny the power of its genuine existence.
My bet is if you ask this young man the secret of his success, one of the things he will mention is the power of maintaining good relationships. That philosophy can clearly be seen in the way he treats his customers, his staff, and virtually everyone he comes into contact with. He is well-liked, respected, and admired for the way he interacts with everyone and the relationships he has formed.
For centuries, philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual guides have all grappled with something that escapes logic. It’s called the mind-body connection. It is the essence of a material/non-material connection. It is a resonance of energy that, when like frequencies connect, awareness levels increase and ignite a sense of acceptance as lifelong, loyal, loving relationships are formed. These powerful connections go far beyond ordinary surface relationships and are often known to be fundamental driving factors in the success of each and every person in the connection loop.
The two people mentioned in this story have continued to support each other over the years. They have established and continue to maintain a healthy relationship that has made all the difference in not only the successful outcome of their individual achievements but, more importantly, the fulfilled satisfaction associated with those achievements. In essence, they are both happy and fulfilled.
The power of relationships is undeniable. Relationships have the power to propel you beyond your expectations or they can kill your motivation and stifle your desire to become more. Your relationships should always be ones that are in alignment with what you believe and what you want to accomplish in life. Don’t compromise on this or make excuses on why you cannot do it. Life is too short to allow anyone or anything keep you from everything you desire to achieve and become.
Make a concerted effort to better understand yourself. You are no good to anyone, most especially yourself, if you’re don’t have a healthy view of yourself. We’ve all heard the notion that we should love ourselves. This is to say that we should believe that we are worthy to attract all that is good into our lives. If you are attracting nothing but unhealthy relationships, it should serve as an indicator that you may be compromising what you truly feel you are worthy of. Spend some time on self-reflection. Ask yourself what it will take to develop yourself as the person you truly believe you are to be.
The journey to create success in life is not easy. The relationships you have will either help you get to the next level or they will prevent you from ever getting there. It took me a long time to understand and embrace that. But once I did, my entire life changed as I became better aligned with the ideals of my hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations. The same can happen for you…if you are honest enough with yourself to recognize it and determined enough to act on it.
Create powerful relationships that help you to bring out the very best in yourself and you will find that you will attract the same into your life from those around you. This is the only life you will ever have. Why not make it the best it can possibly be?
