At a highly, abundantly, productive farm planet designated Kestino 12, though humans called it Always Full, was a huge feast where anyone who wanted to come, Alliance member or not, could come had have a good meal.
Sadly, dereggers, who seem to be he universe's designated party-poopers, seem to have a problem with the idea of a bunch of people getting together to hire out a planet to give everyone a FREE meal. -- Anon Guest
[AN: Problematic words in this prompt have been altered]
Breadbasket planets throw the best parties. For a start, there's more than enough food for everyone. Secondly, you had better bet that there's enough alcohol to float the furniture into the abundant oceans. There's music, dancing, fun and games, and of course they invite everyone to partake because some people really go overboard on the food.
It's a paradise for the rootless sort. Cruisers full of starving or malnourished refugees shipped in to give the poor, starving, and huddled masses at least one decent meal. People gathered to watch the shipping containers of raw material launch to the cargo haulers in orbit. Or to enjoy the creations of Gyiikish chefs devoted to their goddess of plenty. Anyone visiting is free to dance themselves sore, eat themselves sick, drink until they're sloppy, or throw themselves about on various rides until they have to crawl to their next destination.
Even the people who expressly go there to be pains in the butt.
They came wearing their flags, yelling slowly at anyone speaking with an accent, and demanding to know how much everything on offer was. They did not understand 'free'.
"If you want it, take it, but you must eat here," said the person at the stall.
The dereggers shouted slowly. "How! Much! To! Buy! And! Take! Home?"
"No take home. Eat here only."
"I! Want! To! Take! This! Home," the deregger bellowed, adding pantomime to pick up the pie in question, then gesturing towards the stars.
"You eat here. All eat here. No money. Is party," the resident gestured to the bunting and distant stage where some musicians were having a blast. "You eat. You enjoy."
Louder, and with more pantomime, "I! Want! That! Pie! At! Home!"
"No home," they switched to GalStand simple. "No take, only eat."
He bought out his wallet and waved some notes in the air. "Want! Buy!"
"No buy," insisted the local. "You eat. There," They pointed out the tables where everyone else had got the clue.
A different tourist, carrying two plates, waved for attention and said, "Two blueberry, please."
The resulting shriek when the pie of contest got cut managed to still the band, the dancers, and everyone at the tables. The local peacekeepers began to Proceed to the stall, having been alerted to a potential fracas.
The deregger saw them and pointed out the tourist with the slices of pie, "Thief," he shrieked. "Thief! That gremlin cut up my pie! That was mine! I was going to buy it! They didn't even pay for it! I demand retribution! I know my rights!"
The peacekeepers exchanged a Look that said, without telepathy or comms, "Great. Another one of those." 'Those' here pronounced, pains in our mutual buttocks that we wish never came here.
The one with the most decorations on their uniform stepped forward. "Certainly sir. We can manage that right away, just as soon as you file a report. If you'd follow us, sir, we can sort this out in good order."
"But they're eating my pie! Arrest them!"
"Once a crime report is filed, we can get right on that, sir. This way to the station..."
They may have to be walked through the welcome video, concept by concept, and still refuse to believe that they were not allowed to buy an entire pie to take with them. People getting things for free was a huge stumbling block for Dereggers in general and those who could afford tourist trips in particular.
Culture shock is one hell of a drug.
[Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash]
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