"Please don't."
"What are you talking about?"
"I know that look, I realize this is a hijacking, but don't do it."
"Aw, but it'll be fun!"
"Do I need to remind you of how many hours you spent in decontamination?"
"Fine! I'll go and stop them in the normal bloody suit. You're no fun!" -- Anon Guest
Humans and their fun. They leaped off of tall things with only special suits and good timing to stop a fatal splat at the other end. They imbibed toxic chemicals in order to achieve altered states of mind. They invented creative new ways to go very, very fast, and countless methods of simulated combat.
Small wonder then that these dangerous monkeys thought that a hijacking was going to be an entertaining break in routine.
Human Yair pouted, face visible through their Everyday Livesuit. One made specifically to keep their toxic effluvium contained. Keeping everything else out was the job of the heftier suit. Currently locked away near the airlocks.
"Do not give me that face," said Companion Nan. Ze was immune to it anyway. "We had to decontaminate the entire ship the last time you 'had some fun' with those pirates. Remember? Everyone was miserable."
"Fine, fine. Okay. No ordinary household chemicals. I will stick with livesuit ordinaire and do horrible things to them with a piece of string. We good?"
Nan briefly boggled and echoed, "String?"
"String," by the gleam in Yair's eyes, this was going to take a squadron of therapists to get past. "I promise there will be no lasting damage to this ship or its crew."
The hijackers on the other hand, didn't deserve such mercy.
They said that if you give a Human enough rope, they will either hang themself or go skipping. A Human with enough string can also be a force to reckon with.
Yair even mopped up all the blood before letting the crew free to deal with the last stragglers.
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