The Dereggers learn you do NOT skimp on listing potential allergies they might have when entering a station. Fortunately, medics work fast so their children are soon breathing normally again. -- Anon Guest
"This is a list of every possible food ingredient," protested Parental Valentinia, from Greater Deregulation Lower South-East.
"We need to be sure. Allergens can be dangerous for the younger Humans and this is a less regulated space station."
"Doy. Why do you think I'm here," Valantinia scoffed. "You Galactics are all the same, mining us for information, selling secrets to the highest bidder. I came here for a vacation, I paid to have a good time, and I refuse to become the product. My little darling Leoundrei'eiugh is not your product either. I refuse to participate in your dirty data mining!"
Darling little Leoundrei'eigh sighed, "Mo-o-om..." and rolled their eyes.
Concierge Wyn rolled her eyes a little too. "If you do not wish to fill out the allergen form, please sign this waiver saying that you have refused and therefore understand that medical assistance may be delayed by such complications."
"I will not be victim to your strongarm tactics. I refuse to sign anything but the guest book. I paid for this holiday, I expect service. Not to be served up to you Galactic perverts[1]."
Concierge Wyn slid the securicam footage and its audio away for the inevitable court case. "Please understand that we therefore cannot adjust your translator goggles in such a way that it will guarantee your complete safety while you stay here."
"This is a resort," said Valantinia. "If it isn't safe, then what's the point? Give us our room key and leave us alone."
There was one every holiday season. The patron who knew better about everything because they were the customers. The ones who had The customer is always right, engraved on their heart of hearts. The ones who would cause a disruption to other guests if anyone dared tell them otherwise.
In a majority of Service-related businesses, the customer is frequently, sometimes fatally, daft.
Valantinia walked away from the front desk with her keys and a sense of victory, and returned twenty minutes later for technical assistance in using the translator goggles, as they turned everything into a blur.
Techie Clay had to explain, "Offensive items, phobias, and so forth are opt-out. It just makes more sense. So the default offensensitivity setting is everything, everywhere, all at once. These are written in GalStand, but I can switch it to any language you like."
"English," snapped Valentinia. "Proper. Good. English."
Clay had been warned about her, and selected the variant from her particular Deregulation. "There. Now you should have no trouble navigating the settings yourself."
"...mom," croaked little darling Leoundrei'eigh. Her breath was rasping. "...help."
"Not now, honey, I'm setting up your special glasses."
This time, the croak was much fainter. "...please... mom..."
Clay looked up from making the same adjustments on the other pair. "Oh sweet powers." He dropped what he was doing to get on the resort comms. "Medical emergency in Green Twelve ERT's stat on my location."
"I paid for this--" Valentinia didn't get much further as a team of five Emergency Response Technicians poured out of a hidden door.
Each carrying a kit, they clustered around darling little Leoundrei'eigh. Running scans, taking a sample of blood. Asking yes/no questions.
Little darling Leoundrei'eigh was swelling up and turning blue. The fingers of one of her hands was erupting in welts and a spreading pink irritation.
Techie Clay was already searching the child's path backwards on the securicam. "Tofu. She helped herself to some of the tofu in the vegan salad bar."
"Antihistamines 127 and M-54 ready to go. Do we have an allergy to either?"
Leoundrei'eigh was crying. Gasping. Valentinia was screaming for her baby.
"Blood check says no. Go!"
The hiss of an administer tube. The medtechs rolled Leoundrei'eigh on to her side and gave her some oxygen as the swelling went down.
"What did you do to my baby?" shrieked Valentinia. "I'm going to sue everyone!"
There's one in every holiday season. They learn, rather quickly, that the safety protocols are there for everyone. Including them.
[1] It's always easier to accuse an enemy of being perverted. In its way, it is very good Stopthink Propaganda.
[Image by Yoav Aziz on Unsplash]
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