A: I can’t tell if you’re lying to me or you’re that dumb
B: Excuse you? The story is moving but none of the love interest are, you know falling in love?
A: Riddle me this, whose body are you inhabiting?
B: Emily Von Zeiks.
A: And what is her role in the story?
B: The antagonist?
A: Good, now what have you been doing this entire time?
B: I’ve… oh no -- Anon Guest
There is a point in every story's creation in which the characters and their author have an argument. Since the inside of an Author's head is not the best filming location, imagine a comfortable lounge with user-adaptive furniture and optional cats[1]. Potplants to suit, of course.
Bidelia Von Rikkette had arranged herself artistically on the chaise lounge whilst her author Ayotunde Olayinka had curled up in a basket of pillows with a minimum of three cats. There was a coffee table between them, but only for diplomatic purposes. Bidelia would rather cut her own throat than disturb a high tea setting. "I would have you know, I have several clear complaints," she sniffed, ringlets bouncing in her performative outrage.
"I'm certain you do," said Ayotunde, scritching one of her cats. "This is all about the ballroom, isn't it?"
"It's mostly about the ballroom," Bidelia admitted. "The dancing is fine, make no mistake. The intrigue is more than a little delicious," that trademark smirk of devilish enjoyment made her dimples show. "However... none of the couples seem to be at all falling for each other. I thought this was meant to be a romance novel?"
Ayotunde sighed. "Remind me again, what's your role in this book?"
"I'm the antagonist for your simpering little mouse of a main character, of course."
"And what have you been doing?"
"I have been sabotaging her every opportunity to-- Oh." She rallied just enough to hide her expression in a sip of tea. "Oh. Oh no..."
Ayotunde was playing with a kitten and chuckling. "Care for a redemption arc in chapter forty?"
"Why must I wait until chapter forty?"
"Penumbrance Lyssalle."
"Oh him." Him, here pronounced, The number one target I would like to see taken down into a screaming heap. "I have plans for him. And I do believe he utterly deserves them."
"Exactly," said Ayotande. "That's why you have to wait for chapter forty."
She sat up and leaned forward. "Tell me it's going to be gloriously overflowing with schadenfreude..."
"The best that a cad like Penumbrance deserves."
[1] Authors are most likely to come down with cats. It just happens.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / redthirteen]
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