We are done being quiet. For all your claims you have proven nothing to back your words. Show us that this galaxy is yours, prove to us this universe is your birthright. And we will demonstrate to you that humanity will NEVER YIELD TO YOU. - Humanity declaration of war to the Vesmil -- Anon Guest
There are some things one should never turn one's back on. Tidal oceans, creche rooms full of sucrose-enriched larvae, and this new species of really weird hairless apes. To the Vesmil, they were a curiosity. By the time they noticed Humanity had mastered EMR communication and taken a closer look, there were already some colonising their nearest planetoids.
Messy little creatures, leaving robots and debris everywhere. Taking baby steps inside their own solar system. It was almost adorable, the way they strapped themselves to explosives and hurled themselves and their technology at other celestial bodies. Cute. They'd never get far.
They were an idle curiosity, insisted the Vesmil. Something to be studied by the interns. Maybe they'll show us something about our own path to greatness. If they started to become a problem, we can just manifest our destiny all over them. Turn them into yet another thrall race who are separate yet equal. For limited definitions of 'equal'. The Vesmil never expected the Humans to become such a problem so quickly.
"They've what?"
"They've taken over at least three neighbouring star systems. Evidence suggests they are using voidwave technology to skirt around the lumina limit."
"So soon? We checked on them a hundred years ago, they were bumbling around within their own solar system. How did they escape their own Oort cloud?"
Pelenth checked their notes. "With... a net. Sir. They... captured the cometary material in their way and..." more checking to be sure the report said what it actually said, "Added everything within to their stores for the journey."
"A net," Durlok repeated, looking up from her paused entertainment feed. "Whilst I agree that they're ingenious little monkeys, I don't believe they didn't have help. Any flight paths in or around that solar system for the duration?"
"None, sir. The area is a designated red zone for observation only and -uh- nobody's thought it interesting enough."
"Drat. Ready an Ambassador-class Warship fleet... standard script. Welcome to the galaxy, you've passed our test, you are now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the greater Vesmil Empire, here's how to behave yourselves, and you'd better do it." Durlok paused to consider before adding, "And blow up big and impressive but uninhabited. Just to show them we mean business."
Pelenth saluted. "Yessir. I'm sure they'll make a fine batch of subjugates."
Spoilers: they did not, in fact, make a batch of subjugates.
The distilled conversation between the political entities went a little something like this:
Vesmil: Welcome to the universe. We will be your lords. Everything here in this galaxy is ours.
Humans: Says who? We didn't see your name written on anything.
Vesmil: We have maps to prove our ancestral ownership of everything.
Humans: Pfft. We've been ignoring folks' ancestral ownership since we invented colonisation. Look, we've made a bigger map of the observable universe and we can claim it as ours too. So ner.
Vesmil: We could, if we wanted to, wipe all of you out. All your worlds, all your colonies, all your vessels, all your animals. Everything you cherish will be smoke and a memory. So you should really see reason and behave yourselves.
Humans: Oh, you mean with one of those big fuck-off warships you have hanging around every single one of our solar systems?
Vesmil: Our solar systems. But yes. We will be using those to blow you up.
Humans: Cool. Well, we just snuck a few of our peeps on one of those and guess what? It's ours now.
Vesmil: One. You can't possibly fathom our technology. We still have the capability to wipe you out.
Humans: Hey these things are real easy to make. And we made improvements. Our galaxy now.
Vesmil: Oh, shit...
The problem with dangerously savage child races is exactly in the description. Dangerous, check. Savage, oh yes. Childish... most definitely.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / icetray]
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