The man who sleep with a machete is a fool every night but one -- Anon Guest
Weapons in bed are generally a bad idea. Especially sharp, bladed weapons. Sleep is an activity where the body is moving about without complete conscious control. Many an alleged "tough guy" has fallen victim to the weapon under their pillow. Therefore Human Gar was no fool. Their sleep pod had a holster for ease of access. At camp, the blade was under the bedroll for ease of access.
"Any loadable weapon can run out of ammunition," Human Gar was fond of saying, "but a blade never runs out of sharp." In fact, their everyday kit contained a whetstone for that exact purpose. Many an innocent query has had an edge caused by Human Gar maintaining one on their favoured blade. Gar also maintained that a machete had a multitude of versatility to it. Something they frequently proved true on expeditions.
Some laughed at Gar for keeping the blade close at all times. Until the one night when it became a prudent precaution. They had come to survey habitable planets at varying levels, and this one was "only" a Class Three Deathworld. They were doing lots of science, usually from a safe distance. Nevertheless, samples had to be obtained.
They had set up camp and the Humans had done what Humans do best. They'd built a fire. Even if stuff was not immediately edible, they gained some kind of psychological benefit from holding things over open flames. That had been some time ago. The flames had died down by the time of the Incident.
One of the larger reptiles apparently hunted via a form of infravision. For them, heat sources meant food, and a fire was an intensely attractive heat source. The predator had gone far out of its way after the potential reward. By the time it got there, it found several other heat sources clustered nearby. The unfamiliar scents were all that gave it pause.
Pause enough for Human Gar, chronic light sleeper, to wake and access their blade. The rest of the expedition were woken by the war cry, "YAAARGERROFFOUTOVITYABASTARD!" There was panic, scrambling for weaponry, and cries of confusion.
It was over before anyone else had their weapons trained on the source of the problem. Human Gar and their machete had obtained a larger sample than anyone could possibly need.
Naturally, the Humans wanted to know if they could safely eat the rest of it. Gar claimed a fang as a trophy, bordered on each side with talons. They would make it into a necklace that would prove their bragging at a later date.
"You were laughing at me," ranted Gar as the rest of the team analyzed the predatory lizard. "You were all laughing at me. Who's laughing now, huh? Who's laughing now?"
"All right, all right, we get it," sighed Human Vance. "Always prepared, never embarrassed."
The rest of the Humans at least made certain they had a practical blade near them, thereafter.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / mipan]
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