I don’t know why, I want to pet this guy https://ifunny.co/fun/BUDyVF1h7?s=cl -- Anon Guest
[AN: Dear readers, the video linked is an alligator mating call. That reptile thinks the camera person is attractive o_O ]
Humans are well-known for wanting to pet every living creature on any given planet. Yes, even the toxic ones. There are Humans who keep toxic creatures as pets. There are Humans who laugh off "love bites" - but not from the venomous creatures. Well. Mostly not from the venomous creatures.
Everyone knows about at least one human who keeps a toxic creature and, through a process of 'love bites' has become a cogniscent serum horse. There is, in fact, a network of them. At the last bulletin, they were attempting to come up with an appropriate backronym from WHINNY or NEIGH[1]. Compared to all of this, an emotional support crocodile[2] is small beans.
This one was three Sidu[3] long and wearing a harness that attached to a leash that, in turn, attached to Human Vob. The croc evidently put up with hats with the infinite patience of a predator who doesn't have to worry about where the chicken is coming from. This one was a brightly-coloured party hat with a tinsel pompom. "It's his birthday," explained Human Vob.
Somewhere in the luggage, Companion Pirt was convinced, there was an array of elasticised hats that Human Vob would decorate their predator with. They would find out about it later. "Two questions," said Pirt. "Is that allowed free roam in your working spaces, and how often does it need to be fed?"
The crocodile started growling, its neck expanding. Companion Pirt took a few cautionary steps back.
"That means he thinks you're pretty," said Human Vob. "I just fed him a dozen chickens, so he's good for a fortnight[4]. He will have a nice place in my quarters, which is why I requested a double."
The size of that creature almost demanded a triple. "Yes, that has been arranged. One more question..." how to politely phrase it?
Human Vob had evidently encountered the rude version before. "No, you don't have to be friendly with my pet to be friendly with me."
The croc moved into bursts of growls that were almost barking. No matter how 'pretty' the croc thought Pirt was, they could not accept it as a compliment. "Oh thank the Powers."
[1] This author welcomes any and all reader efforts to create such.
[2] To avoid linguistic confusion, the Alliance accepts misnomers based on the first encounter phenomenon. This is most definitely an alligator, as Human Vob will patiently explain later on in their tour.
[3] Standard Distance Units is abbreviated to SDU. Humans turned it into an official word.
[4] Fortnight - in Old Earth Parlance, this used to mean 'fourteen nights'. Now it means 'two weeks' which is twenty days in the GalStand calendar.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / photochecker]
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