Genders are like the twin towers; there was two of them, now it's a sensitive topic. -- Anon Guest
[AN: Oh boy, am I glad you're an Anon or I'd track you down and logically explain how this is so wrong on multiple levels]
There were rainbow flags everywhere. People wore their identities on their chests, on their faces, around their wrists and draped over their shoulders like a caped hero. Dave only knew what half of those colour combos meant, and was afraid to ask about the other half. Still, a party was a party and Dave was never one to turn down discounted booze on account of who was partying.
This bar was relatively quiet, and Dave welcomed that. It was the kind of place where people gathered to get away from the noise a little, though it was still jumping. He picked a spot next to someone who was apparently not part of the party crowd and said, "Genders are like the twin towers; there was two of them, now it's a sensitive topic."
The person who turned had a flag-striped bow in their hair. Blue, pink, white, pink, then blue. Dave had no idea what that one was, but he knew that this one was one of the party people after all. "Excuse me? Is that an attempt at a joke?"
"Uh. Yeah? Are you one of those snowflakes who are easily offended or something?"
"Dude, I have people arguing whether or not I can visit a public bathroom without getting harassed about it. My offensensitivity has been dulled by constant abrasion. Nevertheless... that wasn't funny. At all. There's so much wrong with that statement I dunno where to even start."
"Uh... Good?"
"Not good," said the person at the bar. "One. Grammatically incorrect. It's 'were' two of them - not 'was'. Two. Emotionally deaf. The twin towers attack was a hideous disaster that cost thousands of lives, both in the attack and the war afterwards that paved the way towards the rise of Isis and other terrorist groups that have been a pain in America's ass for literal years. Too. Soon. Three. Presumptively incorrect. Bold of you to assume that there were ever only two genders. Four. Scientifically incorrect. Gender and the assumptive qualities thereof are a byproduct of the culture around us-- hey!"
They had caught him trying to leave, and moved to block his way. "You dropped this bomb, pal, you hang around for the fallout."
A big, burly wall of human flesh that Dave had assumed was a guy moved to join the blocking. "Yeah, buddy. You need an education." That was a warrior woman. A valkyrie. One of the ones who slaughtered the unworthy before taking them to a frozen and desolate hell.
Dave swallowed nervously and sat back down for a quick course in gender and identity throughout history, with respect to global cultures before the British went all over the world and ruined everything for everyone forever.
"Five," said the lecturer, "Educationally incorrect. We learn that there are two genders in third grade just like we learn that there are only seven colours in the spectrum. In the real world, there's way more variety than that. I bet you could name ten colours without hitting the seven in the rainbow."
"We can name at least three genders without hitting the common two," said the valkyrie.
"The only thing you got right was that it's a sensitive topic," said the lecturer. "But the people who are most often offended are heteronormative, white, alleged christians like yourself. Keep your politics out of our party. Thanks."
They let him go, and Dave didn't try out that joke ever again. Like it or not, he had learned better.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / zoooom]
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