I'm not threatened by girly men, or by manly women

I didn't say that you seem to be threatened, I was pondering the thing generally by saying: One thing I've never understood though is that if someone wants to be certain way (...) other people around them find it as a thread to them. You've missed my point there.

The question was why all the pressure on women to be independent, career-oriented and abhor the idea of family?

You have to consider the fact that what is happening around you, how you are treated, how you see things, which are the triggers around you that you react to, may not be the general thought around the world. The things you experience where you live, are not the same things for someone else.

I completely agree, people should be whatever they want to be. Only trouble is, this thinking doesn't seem to go both ways in our clever, tolerant new world, and that's a problem, in my view.

Exactly in your view. Then there are the exact opposite reactions. If I would speak only from my own experience, my words would be:
Women are shamed if they choose to have an abortion. Women are shamed if they want to have a career or try to have it all, a career and be good moms. Women are shamed if they are not feminine enough, do not wear makeup (enough or at all) or do not dress the certain way. (and on and on)

But. As all of this has been true in my experience at some point, from my view, I know that there are people who suffer quite the opposite pressure so I really would want to be careful in saying that the opinion of the whole world is what I just said it is, from my experience. Because it's not. There's your experience too which is also true.

What about her choice to be who she wants to be? You see what I mean?

Exactly like I said. People struggle all over the world with not being able to be who they want to be because in this decade or century the current state of mind is the opposite of what they want to be and someone else has defined how they or you should be.

Society isn't telling them to be that way, because it's now telling them to be the other way around.

Like a waveform searching for the middle ground. Strong opinions or strict ways of living the certain way always creates at some point strong opposition which, if there are really passionate parties involved, may also go too far. And that's a bad thing. Mixed messages for all the people in the middle.

Personally, I don't want to tell men or women how they should be.

No-one should. That's why it's really important to make it clear to the society that only you can determine who you want to be, no-one else. Because if one would say the complete opposite, what they want, there's always the mixed messages thing. If you are like this, there are people who say it's not okay. If you are like that, there are people who say that's not okay. So the only sane thing to do is not give a damn and be who you want to be.

for instance media saying how a woman or a man should be, is always crap

<So fuck it, be as feminine as you want

To quote someone completely insane, if my blog isn't your cup of tee, move on to someone who is

Oh darn! This escalated quickly! I've always loved your blog and opinions although I rarely comment. I'm sorry that my ponderings hurt you, I never meant anything personally and didn't accuse you of anything. As I said, I was pondering about this subject generally and at the end there was a sorry attempt to share some girl power and add a swearword to make it more powerful the Finnish way and state that you absolutely should and can be whatever you want. This is one of the things I so rarely comment anyone elses blog about serious things, things that matter because I fear that I'm misunderstood because I don't explain myself well enough or the image of me is against me before I even start, so why even try. I'm sorry.