Have you ever had that feeling that your work does not make you feel like you have a purpose?
Well, I certainly have. Don't get me wrong I always have work to do. But, at the end of the day I still feel that the work itself is not challenging enough for what I am capable of. My work is not very challenging, more so repetitive at best. I have a difficult time trying to decide what I should do with my career. Should I venture on a new path? What path should I choose?
For the moment because of this uncertainty I have not found what I am truly passionate about. I used to love my job but now I find it to be a stepping stone. There is room for advancement, but is this the road I want to advance in? That I am not sure of. Going to work doing the job and coming home, repeated every day is quite boring. I need to be challenged. I need to feel that what I do makes a little bit of a difference in someone else.
Previously, my job made me quite happy. It may sounds weird but I am very good at my job and fixing problems. I can fix an issue like it is nobody's business. That is what I was doing. I was a problem fixer. Which was great. Whether it was someone had an issue with qualifications, pay, the system, I was able to resolve those issues. Moving forward to where I am now, it is not the same.
I have gone from independently working on my own for 50 people to working in a small group being micromanaged every step of the way. Being blamed for the issues that are not completed that I have no knowledge of them being issues. I went from being well versed on my own to what feels like being treated like a 2 year old. Being told how to do everything even though I have my own mind, knowledge and capability to work independently.
A step back can take a drastic affect on ones mind. Making you contemplate if you are good enough at what you do or is it the people around you who make you feel small to make themselves feel better?
Those people are narcissists. Whether they know it or not. Their selfish acts cause harm to others by affecting the performance of those around them. The day that one cannot go to work with a positive outlook on the day because they work with one or more of those people makes for long days and poor morale.
The thing that gets me by is my fantasy. My fantasy is that one day I will have endured too much and the end result is a punch in the face to this person that has taken my state of mind to a place that I do not like. This fantasy is the thing that actually gives me a little happy spot to go to. I can think about this and know that not only am I affected by this person but there are others around me affected as well. My hope is that maybe one of these other people will in fact take my fantasy and make it real so that I can laugh a little about it.
I cannot act on my fantasy because this does not make me any better than the person who makes me feel inadequate at my job. I move around quite a bit, there is the hope that I will not have to endure much more and I will never see this person again. I will be able to move on and remember what this person treated me like and do what I have done this far. I know that I do not want to be that type of person. I do not want to be the person who makes others feel small and question their self. I want to be the person that promotes confidence in the work place.
Fear and drama has never helped anyone gain a positive attitude or a productive work ethic. The old saying of "do onto others as you would have them do onto you," is on that is so fitting. Positive minds generally produce a better output of work. Taking the time to educate makes all the difference in a persons morale and work productivity.
