What Do I Want?

What makes me happy is what I deny

I sit I stare

I want to die

That’s why I cry

That’s what keeps me up at night

I blame it on my ADD

And a loss of creativity

But what I really want to do is write

about what’s truly unachievable

I want to write about some peace and quiet

I want to write about respect

I want to write about something that

I don’t already know all the answers to

I want to love someone

And let them know how I feel

I want to dry all those teary eyes

With meaningful words

Read from my soul

And written on a page

torn from my tattered notebook

I want to mold my identity

into something worthy of my words

I want to smile and look at the sky

Instead of feeling angry

that no one answers any of my prayers

I want to see my work in museums

Or on a gallery wall

I want to live my life

so that everyone will know it

I don’t like wasting time

But is it wasting time

To question the meaning of your existence

Instead of improving your grades

I want to show my peers what it means

To focus on the future

I want to lead a conversation that is more real

Than my smile

I guess only time will tell

If all my hopes and dreams

Will ever mean a thing

To anyone

I hope they do

Cause I’ve got nothing

to focus on but them