So I'm just going to go ahead and say something that is likely something we aren't supposed to say:
Both young and old people require a lot of patience.
I just finished organizing a neighborhood warmline for my city with a bunch of 20-somethings. The last time I organized a service with someone it was another more experienced person like myself. We met by Skype twice in 2 weeks, then arrived a bit early for last minute tweeks before the event. In the space between meetings we each simply did what needed doing, without needing input from the other organizer to do our own part.
Contrast with it taking 6 weeks, with sometimes 2 meetings in a week, just to get a simple call-in peer counseling line going, and with everyone having a post-graduate degree in some sort of counseling/social work already!
We are only live now because they made the mistake of asking me to set the agenda and facilitate last week's meeting. After meeting after meeting in which we would agree we needed to decide something, someone would say we should plan to do it in a meeting, and then I would say, "THIS is the meeting we can do it in!"
Finally I was setting the pace, so we made a list of all that needed to be finalized before going live, then finalized it all in that meeting. My final agenda item was getting everyone's agreement they would put themselves on the schedule by Friday. That was the presumptive close to finally get the thing launched with people more comfortable getting ready to be ready, than ready to serve.
And then there are the very old. They were once the young, just starting to make their way in the world and see what they could contribute. Now they carry so much wisdom, but it's the little things that can escape them.
I love them so much, but you really have to think for them sometimes.
Sometimes they just can't process what's going on. Like making the turn in a cul de sac to come back out the same street you walked in on, and them getting confused because they think there is a 2nd street with the same name they are now on.
Thankfully when that happened recently I wasn't caught off guard, so immediately responded with a compassionate, "Yeah, the last time we walked down this street we turned back before we reached the end of the cul de sac, so this time it probably does feel like a new street in comparison."
I think that's actually true. But being able to see the perspective of someone whose thinking works that way takes attentiveness and patience. And knowing they need to hear a reassuring word within their temporary confusion, well that takes maturity I think. A patience and maturity in others I will probably require someday too.
I'm so grateful to be in the prime of my life. It is a period in which I can move the young forward by requiring more of them, forcing them to grow, and ease the days of the old in a way that gives them comfort and forces me to grow.
For every stage in life, we are community. We are different and yet alike. So many challenges trying to understand and support across the generations, but so worth it.
And with that, I will leave you with this reminder from the very wise and talented Cat Stevens.
Do you get to spend time with those much younger and much older than you?
Do you find it requires greater patience than interacting with those in your own age group?
Do you feel blessed by the diversity available to you across the generations?
(All text and images (except the AT logo) are by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for HIVE.)
