Hi, guys!
So, the fourth day of returning to normal mode. So far, things are going relatively well, and yesterday I had my first flute lesson. It turned out that I even still remember something, and the sound was not as bad as I was worried. Still, the fingers remembered how the notes were taken, remembered them all, and I did not have to re-learn flute fingerings.
Tomorrow will be the first lesson in saxophone, also after a long break. I was very worried that I would not have enough strength to blow into the instruments, but it turned out that these fears were in vain, and everything is working out great. Of course, more energy will have to be put into the saxophone than into the flute, and it may be more difficult, but I am sure that everything will work out.
My workouts have moved another week, but maybe that's good, I will have more time to get involved in the process, and I get involved very slowly. Yesterday I discussed this with a psychotherapist, but we briefly lingered on this topic, quickly moving on to the topic of sleep disorders.
I have had this problem since childhood, and by the age of thirty these problems had reached such proportions that my sleep without pills completely disappeared. Often when I talk to people about this, they start giving very stupid advice, like playing sports, having sex, and so on. I already do everything I can, when you have real disorders in the work of the brain, they are not treated with yoga, meditation and everything else. Therefore, I do not really expect that psychotherapy will help me solve this problem, but I hope that it will help me change my attitude towards it.
The fact is that it has already come to the point that my husband and I agreed not to wish each other good night. Because I start to worry so much about not being able to sleep normally again, that my mood instantly deteriorates very much. So we just kiss each other good night, but silently.
My new psychotherapist takes an existential approach, so the first thing she suggested was fear of death. Sleep is the only near-death experience we experience every day. I do not rule out that she is right, but, of course, we need to look into this in more detail.
Yesterday I finally got the comics that I ordered three months ago. I no longer dreamed of getting them, but suddenly they arrived. I immediately ordered another pack, because again I will have to wait a very long time.
In general, my collection is rather large, and only grows. I have not bought paper books for reading for a long time, I use electronic books, but I prefer paper comics and artbooks.
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber
