Hi, guys!
To some extent, blogs have now become psychotherapy for me. It is very hard to concentrate on anything, it is hard to sit down and start doing something, all thoughts revolve only around the war and around anxiety for your loved ones. This way you can easily and naturally go crazy, and this is something that I have repeatedly succeeded in, and now is not the right time to repeat such a maneuver.
So I forced myself today to clear everything from the table in our temporary accommodation, sit down normally, and try to work. Of course, the ultimate goal is a drawing, but for starters, I'll be happy at least if I can write normal publications.
I already said that I took art materials with me. That is, yes, I have something to work with, but it is very, very difficult to force myself. My psyche, apparently, decided that the safest option is to sleep constantly, and tries to put me to bed even without pills. I haven't had this for many years. And now I'm not sure what the right course of action is to fight it, trying to still keep working, or to agree and wait until this strange effect passes.
I'm starting to get ideas for drawings. At first, they all revolved around Ukraine and the war, too, but I quickly realized that I simply could not stand the rush of emotions if I tried to work in this direction, and I needed to come up with something more calming. It is a pity that I cannot contact any of the three people who could support me and give me hints on how best to get out of the situation. I tried to talk to my psychiatrist, but the connection was so terrible that almost no benefit came from talking. My psychotherapist does not get in touch, although he is in Istanbul, and not in Ukraine. And finally, my curator is an illustrator based in Berlin. But again I doubt that it will be possible to establish at least a relatively high-quality connection.
In order for this publication to have at least something cute, I took a few photos of my dog. She, of course, is also in deep shock from what is happening, but it seems that she is gradually getting used to the new way of life. Where we stopped, there is practically nowhere to walk with her, there is only asphalt everywhere, but this does not really bother her.
She loves car rides much less :)
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber
