The Feeling of Connectedness

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In every form of relationship, be it dating relationship, boyfriend - girlfriend relationship, friendship relationship, marital reltionship (marriage), family relationship; the feeling of connectedness is very important and essential.

The feeling of connectedness means 'to feel belong;' it is the feeling of belongingness; and we all have that need in us - the need to belong. This feeling of belonging is part of our nature as humans. It is a need in us. When the bible says: "it is not good for a human being to be alone;" that tells us of our need to belong; our need to connect with the other.

The feeling of connectedness is something we all desire and want in our relationship. The stronger the feeling of connectedness you have, the happier you are in your relationship and the more 'enjoyable' or fulfilling your relationship is.

Knowing the level of your feeling of connectedness (strong or weak) is one of the ways to find out the quality your relationship.

If you sense a stable increase in your feeling of disconnectedness (the feeling of distance), know that something is definitely not going right in your relationship. It is left for you to bring up that feeling of disconnectedness that you have been having, and talk about it with the person; and then together put things aright between both of you.

If you bring it up the issue, and he or she says: 'nothing is wrong', and not willing to talk about it, and yet you keep having that feeling of disconnectedness; then it is a clear signal that the relationship is falling apart.

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It is a sign that days of that relationship are numbered; that he or
is fed up, but does not know how to say it; that he or she no longer finds happiness and fulfilment in the relationship. If that is your experience,
then the relationship dying gradually.

In every relationship, it takes two to make it work, and the bible says 'can two people go on a journey if they have not agreed to do so?'

Ten Possible reasons why one may have the feeling of disconnectedness in his or her relationship.

It is said that there is always a reason why things happen the way they do. In the same way, there are reasons why people, at some point in their relationship - any form of relationship, including marriage and family, do feel disconnected. They are:

1. Poor communication- when one or both partners are not willing to talk about issues that concerns or affects them.
2. When they don't keep in touch with each other on regular basis - ask after each other; when you don't find out how he or she is doing. It shows you don't care.
3. When you no longer share in or identify yourself with the joys and pains of your partner.
4. When you become so engrossed in your job or something else that is taking so much of your time and attention, that you no longer have time for him or her; he or she has become so secondary in your life.
5. When you noticed something you don't like, something you are not okay with, in your partner.
6. When you sense the feeling of fear in yourself concerning your partner or when you are suspicious of something. You have this feeling that something is not right somewhere but you are not able figure out what it is.
7. When people around you begin to talk about your relationship with him or her in a negative way - (that means you have become the subject of rumours and gossip).
8. When your partner no longer do those good things he or she used to do to you.
9. When your partner no longer show a reasonable interest in you.
10. When distractions set in, making him or her lose focus on the importance of the relationship.