My Chilanga Mulilo was meant to be a celebration of food, culture, and family however, I ended up being the only one who didn’t eat. While everyone enjoyed the dishes prepared in my honor, I stepped out to go and meet my bride to be for a photo shot session, at her father’s place a 35 to 40 minutes drive from where my Chilanga Mulilo was hosted. I arrived at the place rushed to where the photo booth was setup; we started taking pictures with my fiancée (now my wife) smiling for the camera and completely unaware that my meal was slowly disappearing.
Chilanga Mulilo is a traditional pre-wedding ceremony practiced mainly among the Bemba people of Zambia. Though many other Zambian cultures now do it too. My wife and I are both Bemba’s so this ceremony was a must. The name (Chilanga Mulilo) literally means showing the fire. It’s a ceremony where the bride’s family demonstrates to the groom’s family how their daughter has been raised, particularly in terms of cooking skills, a variety of traditional dishes are prepared. The bride seldom prepares or presents food, and her family explains the meaning behind the dishes and customs.
The 9th of March 2026 was the day for my Chilanga Mulilo. I started the day with a lot of excitement and anxiety. I was anxious in the sense that the weather was not favorable because it was kind of rainy and cold in the morning. However everyone spoke highly of the dishes that were being prepared and the thought of it only made the wait more exciting. Though I hadn’t seen the food myself, I could already imagine the variety and effort behind it. The hour make was fast approaching my excitement had turned into real hunger, and I looked forward to finally testing the meal prepared in my honor.When the ceremony finally began the atmosphere quickly came alive the weather became bright. Guest arrived one after another, filling the space with laughter and celebration. As the groom, I was required to sit down and observe as the different dishes were presented and their meanings explained. Each meal carried a message about tradition, respect, and family values. Even though I tried to focus on everything being shared, I could not ignore the growing anticipation. I was eager for the moment I would finally get to taste the food that had been prepared in my respect. Just as I was about to settle down and finally taste the food, I was called to take pictures with my bride-to-be at her father’s place, which was about 35 to 40 minutes away from where I was being hosted. What I thought would be a quick trip turn into a long session of poses, adjustments and retakes. We moved from one spot to another, smiling and trying to capture every perfect moment. With the distance and time spent there, I completely lost track of everything, including the meal I had been eagerly waiting for. Meanwhile back at the ceremony, the celebration continued and so did the eating.By the time I returned, the celebration was still going but the food I had been looking forward to was gone. Plates were empty, and all that remained were stories of how good everything had been. In the end, my Chilanga Mulilo became a memory not of what I ate but of what I missed.
