I love helping others and I guess it has been my nature to help others. I just don't know how to say no. Every time someone reaches out and ask for a helping hand, I always find myself doing a favor.
I believe it's a good thing to know how to help others, but at some point, my mind kept thinking how I can say no. I don't know. I feel like I need to learn it somehow.
There were times were I couldn't even do personal tasks anymore because I did some favors and it took a lot of my time. I feel like I owe something to them and I don't want to make them feel bad about me. I fear that I would become a disappointment.
I guess I can tell it was my way of making friends. I wanted to be someone whom you can count on, someone who'll never let you down. Maybe that was what I needed for so long, so I became one myself. But it doesn’t always help me feel happy.
Yes it does make me feel wanted but most of the times, it does make me feel sad. Although I have known and made a lot of friends, most of them remember me when they have favors to ask. I felt just like a tool which you will need whenever necessary. I know I shouldn't feel bad about it but I can't get rid of that sad feeling every time I hear someone asking again.
Do they only know me when they need something from me? Have they become friends to me because they know they will benefit from me? Should I feel bad about it and should I stop helping them?
I'm too confused of what should it be. They are my friends and I don't want to lose any of them. But I feel abused sometimes. How can I not have this feeling? Or am I the only one who notices it? Probably I'm only overreacting and tired. I think I'm going to need a little talk with them.
"Don't feel bad if people remember you only when they need you. Feel privileged that you are like a candle that comes to their mind when there is darkness." - Anon
Peer pressure, maybe eight out of ten people have experienced it and felt wanted only when they are needed but most of the time disregarded. It's not unusual to know people who have felt this way because it really happens.
This commonly happens to persons who badly wanted to feel company and they would do anything to please others to let them join the group. Sometimes when these people are abused, you could consider it a bullying in disguise.
You don't really need to fit in on any group or community just to be accepted. You don't need to please others to feel wanted and you shouldn't. Just be you and let them accept you for who you are. If it doesn’t bother you, you probably have a brave heart to feel privileged.
Have you felt bad because people only seem to know you when they need something from you? What would be the best advice to people who feel that way?
