I totally agree that the importance of minding one's business cannot be overemphasized. While minding my business and not interfering with other people's business has saved me from a lot of trouble, not minding my business and standing up and fighting for people has brought me so much joy too.
Being sensitive can be a good thing and also a bad thing as my sensitivity has landed me in more trouble than I can ever imagine. Since I can read the room and people’s emotions in the room I do not hesitate to stand up for the right cause when necessary.
According to the Nigerian pidgin “buying another person’s market”. I hate injustice a lot.
When it comes to my life, I can let certain things slide but when other people are involved and I know they are right but are unable to say or do anything, I get involved in their damn business.
If you’ve not been walked over or treated unfairly before then you can never understand the feeling of being helpless, you can never understand the pains of being walked over or not having the power to do or say anything.
Standing up for people alone isn’t an easy task as I have been called names and have also been warned to mind my business countless times, has my freedom fighting skills landed me in trouble? Oh yes, a lot! Do I regret some of my actions? Maybe a little bit.
Among the many problems that I have encountered as a result of not minding my business worthy of note is an incident that happened in my office.
My boss decided to raise our salaries and he came up with a new salary structure, two of the requirements were one’s performance and one’s productivity level.
My friend/colleague was reprimanded by my HR for not performing as well as she usually did, my friend was worried that she was not going to get a raise and I could see it boldly written on her face.
As a concerned friend and one who doesn't mind her business, I decided to have a conversation with my boss concerning my friend, I spoke highly of my friend and finally, he disclosed to me that we both were going to be earning the same amount that he did raise our salaries to a substantial amount.
After the conversation, I immediately ran to my friend to tell her everything my boss had said about the salary all in the name of making her feel better.
A few days later our salaries were paid and a message came directly from my HR informing us not to disclose our salaries to anyone because we all were not earning the same amount, I had told my friend already but since I trusted her I wasn't bothered that she was going to tell anyone or so I thought.
Fast forward to the next day I was summoned by my HR and boss and was shouted at for telling people my salary, in astonishment, I asked who the people were because I knew I told only one person and that person was my friend. They went further to explain that my so-called 'friend' was angry and she was telling everyone that we were earning the same amount, she was of the opinion that me and her shouldn't be earning the same amount as she works way harder than me and most people and she was suspecting a foul play, my so-called friend was contesting my salary😂😂
I was astonished, betrayed, speechless, and cold. "No, they were making it up" I had thought until another person walked in and said the same thing.
My boss was disappointed in me for telling my friend what we discussed, I tried explaining to them that I just wanted her not to worry too much about underperformance, sharing the good news with her was to make her happy and not the other way around.
My boss became calm but my HR told me to my face that she could never trust me and to date I am still begging for her trust😂😂
I came out of my boss's office shaking. I thought about all the what-ifs. What if I had just allowed her to worry, what if I had just kept quiet and not made a move, what if I had MINDED MY BUSINESS?
You know one thing about being betrayed by a friend? it stings, it cuts you so deep that shouting or even hitting the person does not do jack about how you feel.
This whole drama didn't end there, my supposed friend came to me and told me she wanted to meet my boss and contest her salary😂😂 you want to contest your salary after they just gave you a raise? Without saying anything to her I walked away.
In a bid to help people, we sometimes end up getting things messy for ourselves. As much as I like to help and fight for people I have been learning to turn a blind eye to certain things as you cannot fix everything, get rid of the Saviour’s complex, and mind your business😃
All images are mine except otherwise stated.
