I stared at my baby picture on my desk, and my smile waned. This was the happy girl I had always known, not the one standing in front of her desk right now.
This was me when life was simple, sweet, and carefree. My only worry back then was missing my favourite show on Disney Channel or forgetting to wear my pink headband. That was life, the one I miss every single day.
I sighed, feeling defeated.
“How did life get so complicated and hard?” I asked my best friend Linda, who only shrugged.
“What happened to the order of life that we were strictly supposed to follow? Didn’t we all have our lives planned from the onset? How did things get to this point?” I cried out.
“Ahhh Princess, what’s with all the question and answer show you’re putting on now? Please don’t ask me any more questions. Linda replied, clearly annoyed by my outburst.
That was classic Linda never bothered about anything, most times I wonder how we are friends.
I ignored her reply and focused on my picture. Feeling nostalgic and sad, I headed to my room.
Lying on my bed, I thought about all the things I thought I would have achieved by age 33.
I had the perfect plan from childhood: finish college, get a job, get married, and have children. I was 33 years old now, and only one of my dreams has been accomplished, the rest seem to be taking too long, and I was tired already.
At age 33, I don’t know my purpose in life, I do not have a clear-cut career path. I keep going with the flow.
When does it all end? when will my life get back on track? When will I finally live the life I have always dreamed of? When? When?
Having no one to answer these questions, I lay in my bed and wept.
I didn’t know how many hours had passed but I woke up feeling sick and very hungry. I deserved it as I wept to a point where I had no tears left.
I picked up my lazy ass and went to make dinner, life was bad already, adding hunger to the mix will only complicate things.
It was going to be a long day, but staring at my picture again, I smiled, "This too shall pass". I walked gallantly to the kitchen, feeling super pumped and motivated not knowing how or when I got super pumped.
What do I see?
I see a happy girl in the picture holding balloons filled with water.
What do I feel?
The little girl is so happy and does not care about anything in the world.
All images are mine except otherwise stated.
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