and I felt a warm and wet thing fasten itself to my shoulder.

Hmm... I should really get my mind out of the gutter

Well... yes. Obviously. But apparently the smacking on the arse thing is alright?

I looked at the pimped up Golf Cart disdainfully. It reminded me of a French prostitute in August.

Ah yes, the french prostitute in August. Sad, but not as bad as the one in November

You sent your minion to collect me in some pimpish electric buggy,

Wait... is it pimpish or pimped up?