Little Men

On July 31st 2016 a group of researchers surgically inserted an ultra-receptive microphone into an unnamed man's brain, in an attempt to get a better understanding of brain activity and to see if it could be heard. 3 months later they removed it and prepared to publish their findings, but before they could, the project was shut down. There have been rumors of government involvement, but nothing has been confirmed. Almost all notes were destroyed. Of the transcripts, however, one paper was missed. Here is what it said:

"Rob! Rob! There's been a wee bit of a problem."

"What!? What's the problem 'bout?"

"Well... ye ken it's on us to keep th' Big'uns stable, right?"

"Of course Ah ken! It's always been our duty. Without us the big'uns cannae have survived this long. The macMeikles have never lost a big'un to the crazies, unlike the other clans."

"We're having a bit o' a problem now though."

At this point the second speaker, presumably Rob, begins to sound truly worried.

"Where's the problem? What went wrong? Our big'un usually doesn't act like such a twally!"

"He ran into another big'un of a different species - the one they call a "woman." She looks like a bonny lass. Ever since, his dopamine's been jumpin' all over the place. The lads dinnae what to do, ye ken, so they sent me to ye to try to fix it. Ye're the biggest fellow 'round, ye've been here the longest."

"Try contacting the other big'un's clan. We should be able to figure out something with them."

"We already tried - It disnae have a clan."

"What!!? So how does it's mind work?"

"Nobody truly kens the mind of a woman. There are some things a man cannae ken, and this is one of them."

"Ah see. Alright then lad, Ah'll see what Ah can do. But first Ah'll head over to the midline for a drink to steady meself, and but."

Research into the date that this recording was captured upon shows that the subject met a woman and appeared to grow infatuated with her, briefly acting slightly out of his usual, carefully controlled manner. This behavior soon straightened itself out, so it appears that SPEAKER 2, referred to here as Rob, managed to get the job done. As per the remainder of this transcript, all voices had vaguely Scottish-sounding accents.

At this point the paper ends. We (the finders of said paper, who have chosen this blog to publish it now) are as yet unsure if it confirms myths of a race of wee little men (seemingly Scottish) who live in men's brains, or another as yet unconfirmed myth concerning the date of the removal of the microphone.