I can write a coherent post. I think. Well, I suppose those are two very important statements. The problem is that one or both of them is false (sorry @grammarnazi - you’re going to correct me, but what I said is actually right). I think.

And there I go doing it again. But really, all I need for a coherent post is to pick one topic and stick to it. Theoretical calculus, anyone? No? Ok, I’ll just go sit in the corner myself… and cry… with my textbook to keep me company ;) Hey, everyone needs a hobby. Mine just happens to be attempting world domination - or at least plotting for it.

Ok, I think i failed at the coherency thing already. New goal: Manage 2 coherent paragraphs.

Ok.

I think I did it.

Fine, I guess I do need longer paragraphs.

Or not, I suppose… Ok, let’s get back to a more functional topic. Hmm, staplers are rather useful. Sorry, I’m moving back to my old idea of writing about whatever happens to be on the desk in front of me. Actually, I did once staple a paper to my hand. I was about 8 at the time though, so I suppose it doesn’t count for much. I vaguely recall not crying. I was a tough kid, in more ways than 3. Not really sure how many, I’ll have to think about that at some point.

But yeah, I think coherency is well beyond me at this point. One of those unachievable goals, like the trending page having actual interesting posts, or somebody actually keeping their new year’s resolutions. Mine was achieving world domination…

So that’s why I failed! It wasn’t the nail polish, it was the new year’s resolution. Ok, next year my new year’s resolution is going to be not failing at my new year’s resolution. So I automatically win! Or lose, I suppose, but we’ll try to ignore that fact for now.

Oops. It’s a rather bad idea to try to ignore a fact. It will just come back to haunt you. You won’t stop being able to think about it. See - you’re all thinking about tiny pink elephants!

Oops

I forgot to tell you about that

Well, I may have done that accident on purpose, but none of you know anything about my intentional unintended gaffe. Hmm, is there such a thing as an intended gaffe? By definition, it seems like the sort of thing which is automatically unintentional. Unless, I suppose, you unintentionally intend to do something on purpose by accident.

Ok, if I were actually thinking about what I type, I’d have confused myself at this point. I suppose it’s a good thing I try to ignore whatever comes out of my mouth. Errr, fingers. Let’s just say whatever comes out of my brain.

Anyways. Are you people enjoying my random brain juice splattered across a screen? I think that’s probable;y the best description for what I’m typing. None of you want to eat it now, do you? Well, I suppose you probably weren’t planning on eating it beforehand anyway.

Be that as it may, or be that as it is, or be that as it were, or whatever other confusing word-matter I was planning on throwing at you. I think I’ve succeeded in doing something, though I’m not sure what, and you probably don’t know either after all this.

-Hyperbole out