Greetings, everybody
Time flew and my daughter, Vivian, is already finishing High School. On Saturday, they had the now traditional photo shoot (even though graduation will be in July). The gown was supposed to be blue, but some mysterious authority decided it would be black this time.
The ocassion was fitting to reflect about time, life, family, parenthood, and love. Their mother commented how shocked she was at seeing Vivian wear a graduation gown. It seemed only yesterday she was learning to walk. She said that after HS kids do not belong to their parents any more, which puts the number of years we can actually call them "ours" around 17. Out of those, I somehow have lost the last 10.
With my son, José, now in Lima, and Vivian, just a few months old, getting my Master's Degree.
After divorce, even if living in the same town, to share with one's children is not the same. We don't get to sleep with them all the time. We lose great moments of joy and sadness. We miss most of their school dramas, even if we visit them regularly at school. Sometimes we are not there when they are sick, when they feel lonely, or in need for answers.
Sometimes, all they have is one another for support. Time passes and talking about daily occurences becomes harder, more sporadic. With the impending separation, it is unavoidable to feel invaded by a sense of nostalgia and regret.
I have done my best so far to be there for them as much as I humanly can. Now that it seems unavoidable to leave the country, most likely to separate destinations, I have to digest the idea of missing more of them, especially of little Anna, who still have some sensitive years ahead.
It is my dream now that we'll be all together for Anna's graduation!
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