I am babysitting this weekend, not for this lovely young girl,
but rather for this very cute young boy. Here he is looking at my iPad. He is watching a video of dogs barking. Yes, I shamelessly let him have screen time.
The reason I'm babysitting is because the sweet child, my granddaughter, pictured at the top of the page, is graduating from college on Sunday. Much as we hoped we could see this child celebrate, we cannot make the trip. We will be watching a live stream from our home.
We're not upset. We have said for years we'd like to be around for my granddaughter's college graduation, and we're here. I'm so proud of her. Many years we babysat for her. Neither time nor distance can take that away.
Here is a picture of me with my granddaughter when we were in Washington D.C. together. This was in 2014--I was 67 and my granddaughter was 9. My daughter had a work weekend (she was a dancer) and I went along to babysit. We had plenty of time to tour.
Here is another shot of us on that trip. I think we were at the Smithsonian when this picture was taken.
Finally, another shot of us in D.C. I think you can see here what a close relationship we had.
As we babysit for the dog this weekend, we also continue our obligation to his sibling:
While the cat and the dog are less combative than they used to be, still the cat has disdain for the dog. Rightfully so, I must admit. From time to time the dog will mistake the cat for a toy and pounce. The dog weighs probably 70 pounds. The cat weighs maybe 5, maybe not that much. So, whenever the dog is around, the cat will seek refuge behind my husband's chair or, as you see in this picture, on my husband's chair. There he will sit and even sleep for a very long time.
This cat has been a part of my granddaughter's life since she was a very little girl. Here is a picture from 2010--16 years ago. My granddaughter is 21 now, so she must have been 5. The cat, you see, looks just about the same. These days he makes it from the floor to the back of my husband's chair with one leap. He shows no signs of age, no hint of slowing down.
My granddaughter grew up with animals. They were her siblings and she learned to love them. Her career choice is related to that love. She wants to become an occupational therapist, but her secondary ambition is to work in animal rehabilitation. All her pets were rescues, including this frisky elderly cat. The cat was a tiny kitten that had somehow managed to wedge itself in a car engine. My daughter was called by a neighbor to extract it.
In the picture below you see a dog that grew up with my granddaughter. This dog had been traumatized emotionally but eventually healed. This sweet animal passed away two years ago.
Here is another cat that was rescued from a car engine (when an animal was in distress, neighbors in my old neighborhood would call my daughter). This animal was injured badly because the car had driven a bit before the driver realized the cat was trapped. Loud meowing was the alert. Notice this cat holds her paw up. That's because one leg was permanently damaged. She was never strong enough to undergo an operation for amputation. She was also a little dim witted. You can see that in her eyes, I think.
Of course, we didn't just babysit for my granddaughter while she was maturing. We were also a kind of escape valve for mother and daughter. In middle school, for example, we pitched in. Middle school is a tough time for most kids. In this case, my daughter was working several jobs and simply didn't have the time she needed to help with homework and all the other things that arise.
Every day either my husband or I would pick up my granddaughter from school and take her to the library to do homework. Inevitably, as we drove to the library, she would ask us to stop at a local eatery and buy her a special snack.
We also went on vacation together at least once a year. Here's my husband with my granddaughter as the two of them took a boat ride on Lake Placid (NY).
Here I am with my granddaughter on the same trip. You might notice that I'm often carrying an umbrella if the sun is bright. I have serious issues with the sun so I always carry protection when I'm out in bright sunshine. Also, it looks like that might be a map I'm holding. I love maps. Maps of buildings, parks, cities. I just like them.
I'm not someone who appreciates big celebrations. I like things simple. I don't like dressing up for special occasions. I don't like a fuss at all. However, sometimes we need to stop and punctuate our experience with a special day, a special moment. We have done that with my granddaughter.
Of course, it's my daughter who makes the days special for her child. We are the support team, in the background, ready to reinforce whatever course she chooses.
Throughout my granddaughter's childhood we were there for birthdays...not at the party, but before and after to help prepare and clean up. Here's the picture of a birthday cake, apparently celebrating a sixth birthday (count the candles!)
We were there in the waiting room when she had an operation on her thumbs.
It's an interesting experience, being a grandparent. There is a supporting role, although the commitment may be absolute. A grandparent should be ready for whatever is needed, and yet that grandparent should be unobtrusive, keep a low profile. Never offer advice, unless it is solicited or unless the situation is dire. Be useful, but almost invisible, except when needed and wanted.
Maybe people will disagree with my idea of a grandparent's role, but it's worked for us. I think we have the perfect grandparent/grandchild relationship.
We won't be there Sunday, but we are sending a symbolic gift. My husband's parents were both immigrants from Ireland. This means my granddaughter is 1/4 Irish. I often talk about my Italian heritage. And she is very aware of her Puerto Rican heritage (her father's family is Puerto Rican). We don't really talk very much about her Irish ancestry.
So, we are giving her a small St. Brigid's cross. In this way my granddaughter will have a sense of legacy, an awareness about an important part of her background. Also, she will have a positive token, something that represents the love and care her family will always have for her. The legend of St. Brigid's cross is that it protects those who wear it from evil, fire and hunger. I certainly hope that is true.
