I always hear the phrase "trust the process" and that it will always turn out good in the end. But I don't like toxic positivity because it sounds like one. Things don't always turn out good in the end and that's just reality.
My creative process include intricate planning at times but sometimes I just imagine it and hope for the best. This time, I was only envisioning the final output in my mind and thought of what eyeshadow palette to use.
During the creation process, I didn't like it. It wasn't what I had in mind. The colors were too vibrant and I think I put the red way too low haha. The red was also too patchy and I think it maybe because I didn't use the proper brush and just that area wasn't prepared for that.
I really didn't like it. I was thinking of just erasing the whole makeup and start from scratch.
But I also thought why not continue to see how it turns out? I'm already there anyway and there was so much effort into doing the base to just erase them. XD
I know color theory, and I know green and red are such bold colors, but the mistake here must be the amount of the colors are way too equal that they are clashing together.
So I kinda shifted from the plan. I added the whites which I liked and it started to look okay for me.
Another problem arose and the color green wouldn't show up. I didn't swatch it beforehand so I didn't know how it would swatch. I was getting more annoyed lol.
At this point, I just added some shimmers on top hoping it would cover up the 'ugly' blending of the matte color and maybe desaturate the color. And it worked!
It still looked like a watermelon so I just embraced it haha. I added dot liners as seeds and completed the look.
I really liked the result. It turned out to be one of my favorites haha.
I'm glad I went on with it.
This happens a lot in my creative practice. This is also one of the reasons why I started getting afraid of making art. I'm so perfectionist that I end up not doing anything because I'm scared of the process. Having a plan in my mind, and then in the middle something happens and I have to change what I was doing... that shit is scary to me and I didn't understand why.
I know now though, that is because I am autistic as well (audhd to be specific) and I need to have plans and any deviation from that is scary. But now that I understand them, I should be more forgiving of myself and the process.
Sometimes what we think of the present “ugly” phase is just that - a phase. Sometimes we end up hating it or loving it. It’s always worth it to continue I think.
