When i hear people talk about last moments, they imagine a dramatic speech, or some perfectly chosen words, or long emotional confessions.
My own experience was nothing like that. It was quiet, so so Ordinary.
It seemed impossible and almost too simple for something Final.
I was there when my dad passed.
The hospital ward felt chill.
It felt heavy, not with noise, but with everything I didn’t know how to say.
While Growing up, I saw my father as a strict man. He wasn’t the type to joke around or express affection easily.
He believed in discipline, in structure, in doing things the right way.
He asked very hard questions.
He expected results.
He corrected mistakes quickly.
Sometimes harshly.
To me, he often felt distant and always serious.
I didn’t realize until much later that what I called being strict was actually fear.
Fear of us struggling
Fear of life treating us unfairly.
He wasn’t hard because he enjoyed it, he was hard because he wanted us prepared.
He wanted us stronger than he ever had the chance to be.
But i never got the chance to say this to him and Appreciate him.
I sat there, holding back my tears, nodding and pretending I was strong.
And he said His last words.. "I am not afraid to die. Having you as a son means my family is safe"
In that moment, it dawned on me Everything he had been doing was just to get us prepared.
That sentence still echoes in my head. Not just as comfort, but as responsibility.
Because now I live with a promise that was never made out loud.
To be the man he believed I already was.
To carry his discipline without compromise.
To stay firm and unwavering even if situations aren't to my liking.
To speak appreciation while people are still here to receive it.
While Some people regret words they said.
I regret the ones I didn’t.
I regret not telling him that his strictness shaped my resilience.
That his silence taught me consistency.
That his pressure built my character.
That i see now that he only wanted to protected me.
But maybe in his own way, he already knew.
Maybe love doesn’t always need a voice to be heard.
Maybe it just needs to be seen.
Maybe he didn’t need my words because he saw my life becoming the proof.
There has been a lot of maybe's but i am certain of this, Right now, if I had one more minute, I would say it clearly, without a second thought.
Thank you for everything.
I see you now.
And I am proud to be your Son
Images is mine
Thank you for reading.
