The word neurosis is composed out of the word neuro which means nerves, and the word osis which means order. As the purpose of abuse is for the abuser to control the victim in order to control his own thoughts and emotions.
During the abuse the victim is going to chose under coercion to do things that are very unethical, so it is going to become corrupted herself. And this creates the desire in the victim for control. Either to stop the abuse itself or recover from all the negative effects the abuse will have on you.
Controlling your thoughts and emotions is like trying to control the ripple made by a rock skipping on the surface of the water. You can't change the ripple directly but you can throw the rock from a different direction.
Your thoughts are not a subject to morality, there is not such a thing as right or wrong thoughts. They can certainly inspire wrong or right actions but by themselves they hold no moral value. If you day dream about killing someone and you never act on thous thoughts it doesn't make you an immoral person or guilty of murder.
There is some value in being curious about your thoughts and emotions, like wondering yourself why do you feel like that for that person or why do you think of certain things. But there is no benefit that I am aware of that comes from censuring yourself to yourself.
There is no such thing as good control, because control is the motivation of all abuse or crime. Control it is simply the practical exercise of evil. Oddly enough the more you attempt to control something the stronger and more powerful it becomes.
Mental illness is self control as a result of being controlled by someone else in the past. In order to heal you have to lose control, and losing control means restoring the right order in too your head. Where you are free to think and feel whatever you want whenever you want, but if you want to create the best possible outcome in your life you have to chose your actions.
A neurotic person attempts to control his thoughts and emotions, and as a result of that loses his choices over his actions. While a sane person allows herself to think and feel whatever he wants, but has the capacity to select the actions that will create the best possible scenario in the moment.
