What is a relationship?
While typing this question, I also don't know how to answer it. I don't know what a relationship is. there are so many questions in my mind right now, so many whats and whys.
What is a relationship supposed to be? Maybe in some people, it is supposed to be magical that a relationship always ends in a happy ever after.
If you’re in love with a relationship, you may find you want all the world to know about it. You may connect more deeply with poetry, all the weight that song lyrics may have becomes more apparent, and many of the things in your life can seem more positive.
On the other hand, it's toxic; it makes people crazy and drown in the relationship that they thought magical.
But what about mine? What relationship is supposed to be for me?
When I was a child, I thought that a relationship was like a fairytale. It always ended ever after, but when I turned into an adolescent, I saw a lot of relationships that came to a magical start and suddenly turned into a toxic ending.
I have been in a relationship for 11 years now; I thought all the sacrifices and love that I put into the relationship were enough to make him change.
The family that we built together is enough to strive harder to make a better living, to make him happy enough because he has the family that loves him the most.
Every relationship has differences. Relationships aren't the same; for others, it's a fairytale, but for me, it's a miserable pit from which there is no way out.
Source
Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I don't know what I'm gonna do; I still love the person; yes, I do but it somehow hurts me because the love I put pays me into pain.
I won't regret this kind of love I give because I had 2 beautiful kids who made me stay and hold that someday we will be happy again, just like we planned.
I will do everything just to make the relationship work and stay, but how could I do that if the other half won't let his hand hold still?
I felt sorry for myself because I let him hurt me, I felt sorry for myself because I didn't protect myself, I felt sorry for myself because I didn't make myself a better person, I felt sorry for myself because I wasn't enough reason for him to change.
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."- Sam Keen
And that makes sense to me that relationship is building each other into a better person, not ruining each other.
Little did I know I wasn't myself now; I was stressing myself over things I didn't have control over, putting myself in pain that I didn't deserve.
Should I let him go or Should I hold still?
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