Is hope good or bad for you?
Some say that hope is what drives us in life. Without it, we stop looking for alternatives and stop fighting. Hope is the belief that there are new possibilities, even if the future seems too uncertain or too certain in the face of something we don't want. Hope is a watchful eye on the present and, at the same time, curious about tomorrow. I believe that we all want to cultivate hope, but sometimes life throws us some challenges...
I believe that I am a very optimistic person, and because of this I always have hope in my heart. But I confess that the last two years were the worst of my life and I let this feeling die little by little. In 2021 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. After the treatment, when I thought that everything was ok, I received a new diagnosis, this time of endometriosis. Studying a lot, I came to the conclusion that the first diagnosis, in reality, was wrong and I always had endometriosis. I am still in this search, going from consultation to consultation, from doctor to doctor, looking for answers.
But when I had this "eureka" moment, that I might actually be facing a misdiagnosis, I confess that my world collapsed. I ended up taking time off work and spent a week meditating in a Buddhist temple. When I returned, however, I was robbed of one of the most precious things I had, my bicycle. I wrote about it here. The theft of my bicycle was a huge blow to my life. I fell down and no longer felt like getting up.
But life has its surprises and when we least expect it, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The other day a friend called me. I told him everything that was happening and he said "Helga, I have a bicycle here and it is yours. To make a long story, short, this bike was an American cyclist, who came from Alaska to Ushuaia pedaling. There, he met another cyclist and as he needed money to get home, he sold the bike. This cyclist gave the bike to my friend, who gave it to me.
The craziest part of the story is that Cameron, the American cyclist, decided to travel after seeing many family members suffering from a rare type of cancer. I learned about this when he answered my message, thanking me for the bike.
This weekend was very special for me. My friend brought me the bike and I took advantage of Sunday to go for a ride in one of my favorite places in my city: the botanical garden.
Seeing plants, and flowers and feeling the wind on my face again was a breath of fresh air in the midst of this whirlwind that life has been.
The entrance of the crystal palace
In my hometown, the Botanical Garden is one of my favorite places to go. Although it is not well taken care of, it is a quiet place, full of nature, and a good place to calm your thoughts and reflect on life. It was opened in 2014 and has an area of 70,000 square meters. One of the most beautiful parts is the crystal palace, a metallic structure, covered in glass where you can find fragments of plants from the cerrado, the rainforest, the arid climate, and there is also a small Japanese garden.
Inside the crystal palace
Some cactus and succulents of the ride vegetation
the tropical forrest
Inside the botanical garden, there is also a sensory garden with medicinal plants, an orchidarium, and a space for growing cacti and succulents.
the orchidarium
The view from the top
It was great to ride to the Botanical Garden and spend some time there, in silence, contemplating the view and nature. I thought a lot about life and everything that has been happening to me. Getting a bicycle when everything seemed hopeless was a nice shot of encouragement and also a sign of hope. I have this habit of naming all my bikes and this one would be no different. It was not difficult to find a name for it, which is called "Esperan莽a" (hope in English) for obvious reasons.
Me and Esperan莽a in our first picture
To have the wind back in my face that only a bicycle brings is a reason to believe that there is a way out. Since the diagnosis of endometriosis, many things are difficult. I feel very tired and very sad. I can't go very fast, at the speed that the world asks. But I am here. One way or another.
I hope you have enjoyed this weekend's walk and have enjoyed seeing the botanical garden here. Don't lose hope! Sometimes in life, they can take it away from you, but there will always be reasons to believe in better days.
little by little finding reasons to smile again
See you next time!
H.
