The enemies were everywhere and Sergeant Joe had no idea which direction he was headed, all he knew was that he had to get away or it would be the end for him.
What was supposed to be a simple extraction had turned out to be an ambush and most of the squad were either dead or scattered around the bush.
As Joe jumped over a tree stump, his leg caught a tree branch lying on the ground and he tripped then blacked out.
He didn't have to open his eyes to know he was sweating even though he could clearly hear the fan rolling, it had been a nightmare once again.
Reaching out to the other side of the bed, his hand came up empty and for a second he was confused before reality came crashing again.
Anna had moved out with the kids two days ago, her excuse was that she was visiting her mother. But Joe had served in the military long enough to notice the little things that didn't match.
How she'd packed lighter than normal for just a few weeks stay even though he knew she and the kids needed more clothes.
How she kept on reminding him they were only staying a few weeks even though he didn't really ask. She'd been trying so hard not to give him reasons to suspect they would be staying longer than that..
Although he missed the noise in the house, he also didn't mind the quiet. The quiet allowed him to think better, but he had to be careful not to dwell on the bad stuff for long.
If he was being truthful, most of the problems the family was currently facing were actually his fault.
It started just a few months after he got back home from his last tour, when he started having nightmares about those near death encounters.
At first he tried to hide it, but it only took a few more nightmares for Anna to realize something was wrong.
He had to give it to her, she was certainly a very strong woman and had helped him as best as she could, even helping to hide the signs from the children.
The children eventually found out something was wrong though when their loving father had suddenly become a screaming banshee every night.
It had also been hard getting a normal job that could pay the bills and Joe soon found himself getting angry for no reason.
He was angry at everyone, he blamed everyone for not recognizing the sacrifices he'd made for a better world.
He lost job after job because he would be caught screaming and trying to get physical with his colleagues.
At home though, he was either sitting quietly in a corner overthinking or simply yelling at everyone in the house until the point where his children started finding excuses not to share the same space with him.
The nightmares became routine and Anna had suggested he go for treatment.
'Babe, you were screaming yesterday night again" she'd started. 'I really believe it would be best if we go seek medical help"
"Oh alright, I guess I'm the crazy one in the house right now" he replied not bothering to keep the anger out of his voice.
'Joe can't keep his voice down at night, so he needs to go see the head doctor"
'You know that's not what i meant Joe."
"If I need any help, I'll be sure to inform you since you can now diagnose who needs help" he replied with enough of a sarcastic tone.
That was how most of their conversations usually went. He shouting at her in anger, while she tried to stay as calm as possible explaining her suggestions.
It had gone on for long enough and she must've weighed her options before choosing to move the kids to her mum's place.
Even though Joe knew his actions were wrong, the continous nightmares kept making him easy to anger.
He'd lost a lot of close and good friends and sometimes felt guilty for surviving while they didn't. Getting reminded of this situation almost every night was always eating away at his soul.
Still lost in his thoughts, he was soon brought back to reality by the chirping of birds outside his window.
The unusual quiet in the house reminded him just how much he was going to loose if he didn't get his family back.
Joe stood up, picked up his phone to call the manager at the store where he worked. He informed the manager he wouldn't be able to make it for that day.
The next call was to Anna and at first she didn't pick up, but on the second try she picked up the call
"Morning baby" she answered and he could hear in her voice that she was probably just waking up.
'Babe, I think I'm willing to take your advice and go get help"
He heard the sheets ruffling which meant she was most likely trying to seat up while processing what he'd just said.
"You sure about this babe? she asked and Joe could definitely hear the tremor in her voice.
This woman didn't deserve all the stress that he already put her through and it broke his heart to know he was responsible for it.
"I'm a hundred percent certain babe. I realized how much y'all mean to me and I'm willing to do anything to make us a loving family once more" Joe replied
They were both in tears when they ended the conversation.
As Joe headed to the shower to take a bath, he knew it was time to rebuild his family once again from the ruins of his mistakes.